Beauty In Everything

48 students have arrived

2011-11-04T11:26:00.001+10:00

The school has started!!!! We have just finished week one of lectures.

The lecture topic was Character and Nature of God. Kim Brinkman taught. She is the school leader for the Beach to Bush Discipleship Training School that is currently running. The students started arriving little by little over a week ago. There are 48 students from all over the world and 15 staff!! The welcome dinner was wonderful.

There was lots of fun preparation all day in the kitchen! Kate is on the far right, Maija is next to her with the short hair, and Katrina is in the back chopping yummy veggies!!

This is Jess. She is a co-leader on the school. Love her!

Getting the community room ready, setting our chairs and tables, center pieces with colored pencils, candles...

"YAY!! Welcome dinner is tonight!!!!!"

We all gathered in this room (the community room) and ate a yummy meal with dessert. We had name placements for each person and had a few fun table games. Afterwards we had a bon fire outside with smores, tea and coffee.

In each corner of the room we had a little display of each focus, this was the music corner!

Film and photography focus

The welcome dinner was on a Thursday night. That first weekend is testimony sharing with the entire school. So all 63 of us gathered in the MAD room, (media center where we have lectures and worship nights), we gathered with pillows, blankets, and tissues. Each person shared their testimony. I prayed the night before and felt like God wanted me to go first. So I shared my testimony first. God gave me a picture of a door being opened wide - I felt like if we as staff were open and honest then thats like opening the door for others to be open and honest. God moved and the students/staff were totally open. As each person shared more unity filled the room. Testimony sharing lasted Saturday, Sunday, and some parts of Monday and Tuesday.

Last night was our first small group. We will have small group once a week for 2 hours. There are 10 girls in my group and I am co-leading with my sweet friend and fellow staff Maija from Finland. It was a beautiful time together with cookies and sharing. Within that group of 10 I have 4 "one-on-one's". I will sit down and meet with them each individually every single week for about an hour. Walk along side them, mentor, disciple, challenge, pour into. God has already given me such a heart for each girl, and the school as a whole. It doesn't mean I won't be pouring into the other 44, paperwork wise though, and on a more personal level, those 4 I will be connecting wtih. I am excited to see what God does.

Tomorrow is Saturday and the school is helping volunteer at a local school festival down the street. We will go and volunteer however they need - face painting, picking up rubbish, helping people sell things in their stalls or with whatever they need, running errands, talking to people in the community, etc. This will be awesome to pour into the community!!! I'm so excited!

Next week the lecture topic is Hearing the Voice of God and my school leader, Jason Salori will be speaking. He is such a man of God and carries so much wisdom about this topic. Its so neat to already see how GOd is moving and working in the students lives.

Morning tea happens every single day at around 10:30am. This is the courtyard. We have fruit and pastries, tea and coffee. These are some of the students!!

Orientation day! Morrison is leading the art focus with me. We were at the photo station, taking photos of all the students for the MAD photo board!

Maija, Anna, and Katrina in relaxing and planning.

MORE NEWS: Jason has shared with us 15 staff the outreach locations for this school and has asked us to pray. I am not allowed to reveal them right now, but that will be coming soon as the locations and outreach leaders are confirmed!

I am still in need of $3,500 for outreach specifically. That much has already come in and if you have given I am so thankful that is definitely an investment in the kingdom! Outreach is Feb 14 - April 2 (roughly) My goal is prayer is to have all the rest of my funds raised before Christmas. You can donate through my blog (with paypal) or you can send checks payable to Alicia McLeod to 9205 Natchez Drive Brentwood, TN 37027.

I hope everyone in America is enjoying the fall leaves and cool weather. Its getting hotter by the day, summer is on its way. I love each of you with all my heart. Thank you for praying and being apart of this amazing journey God has me on!

I will write soon!

Art Studio - Before/After Pictures

2011-09-26T13:58:00.007+10:00

After hours upon hours of hard work and fun...the art studio renovation is COMPLETE!

Group Project - Tree Painting

2011-09-15T11:59:00.012+10:00

Yesterday the 4 art leaders painted together! It was such a fun afternoon! Jason, the school leader, gave each focus an assignment to create a piece collectively in one day. We worked on it yesterday afternoon...

Morrison, from South Carolina (far right in the green), Kalli, from Montana (black shirt sitting in the middle), Katrina, from Scotland (tucked away behind Kalli) I will be leading the art track with these lovely ladies! I'm so excited!

We all have different painting styles. It was incredible to combine them.

Time to add needle and thread...

One stitch at a time. Little details I adore!

My darling Katrina! Love her so much!

Final project! Felt birds sewn in + needle and thread, and "imagine" written on the left hand side.

It was a blast! I am so excited to lead with these girls, God is incredible. More to come...

I love you.

Strained tendons - A season to grow...

2011-08-18T18:26:00.012+10:00

I've been back nearly 3 weeks now! The day after I landed I woke up and ran for an hour. (The day before I left home I ran a half marathon) The weather was a bit different, breezy and cool. The second morning I did the same thing, woke up while it was still dark and met the misty roads and sun that was soon saying hello. The third day I was back my right foot was bothering me, the tendons were sore when I would walk - I noticed this around lunch time and tried to forget about it thinking it would go away. That next morning I went running and tried to push through the pain, but couldn't. Finishing back at my driveway I could barely walk. This happened August 4th. Two weeks later I still haven't been able to put on my running shoes and run. This happened from over running and a lack of stretching - (the half marathon then more running and no rest) strained tendons in my right foot, something that needs serious proper healing or else it could get worse.

For someone who is used to running an hour or more everyday, to not being able to run at all - you can only imagine how I would feel. I cherish my morning runs with Jesus, Him being the first person I speak to - the one I run with.

My running shoes sit on my shelf, untouched. I sit on my comfy chair with my leg propped up and a bag of ice on it...I just finished playing guitar - I like to turn all the lights off in my room except this one lamp, open a window so the breeze dances in..I was just worshipping God, singing my own song and this came out.

Outside of running

Outside of my shoes

Outside of running

I choose you

God is teaching me so much through this season of not running, letting my tendons heal, being patient and not frustrated, being thankful for feet. He's got me in a place where I'm literally still a lot of the time - I see myself as a little girl climbing up a hill, running through trails, jumping, swinging, and this injury is like God picking me up and saying, "Leash come here, let me show you something, take your shoes off for a bit, come down this hill." I follow with a frozen face, He's taken me back to our field full of wildflowers, kissed by the sun the petals shine, we walk to the middle of the field and there is a foundation, strong wood.. it looks like the foundation for a HUGE house. God brings me to the middle, takes my hand as if to dance, and looks at me and I smile - I start laughing, we laugh together so hard the birds resting on tree branches 100 miles away can hear this joy. Our eye contact is still and we both know what we're thinking.

"I am your daughter, your beloved bride. Your delicate rain. You are my foundation. I am yours. You are mine. Running isn't my foundation. You are my hiding place God. You are my joy. You are my perfect peace. In you I am content. You are my strength. In you I stand firm as your beautiful daughter, your beautiful bride."

He nods with a smile. Takes my hand and we begin to dance. (Or in my case, cradles me) I feel the weight lift off my back, and the burdens off my chest, every worry, every fear, every thought is lifted like the wind. We dance. My eyes meeting His - this is where I'm supposed to stay always...He is so lovely.

Other news: These past three weeks I've been renovating my art studio!!! I will post about that soon once its completely done! I have before and after pictures. God is so incredible.

I love you, I will write again soon!

Four airplanes - 30+ hrs of travel - God is good

2011-08-01T10:45:00.007+10:00

I made it back safely!! Nashville to Austin - Austin to LA - LA to Sydney - Sydney to Brisbane. Thank you everyone for praying! The travel was long and connections were a bit rough but the entire time I felt so covered by prayer and by Gods Presence, and I made it just fine! I am so thankful for every prayer - thank you!!! My Aussie Grandparents picked me up from the airport and I slept like a baby for 15 hours the first night.

I had Sunday morning to myself at their house and I had some sweet time with God and read all of the encouragements from my Open House! If you are one of those people thank you thank you! It blessed me so much and I will keep them forever. I'm writing in my cozy room, with my orange scarf wrapped around my neck. Coming back to winter is a bit of a shock to my system! Its so nice to see my YWAM family again!

I unpacked this morning, cleaned my room and had some yummy fruit for breakfast. Sweet conversations with friends here, many hugs and catching up. Another adventure begins! God is so good.

I can't put into words how covered I feel with prayer. God is so constant - so real, so everywhere. I am learning that it is possible to live in peace always. I love Psalm 34 - "seek peace and pursue it." It's right in front of us like a beautiful butterfly resting around us, a gift, a treasure, we gotta grab it and hold on to it! I will update again soon, I am safe and well, resting in the Lord. I love you!

''You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole being.''

2011-07-26T03:09:00.015+10:00

I sit here with a glass of water near me - I am overflowing with peace and joy - God is so good! My time at home has been more amazing than my little words can describe. God has orchestrated every moment - it has been a time to give and a time to receive. Like a pvc pipe with both ends open - a flow effect. Praise the Lord for precious family time. Here are a few photos.

I love my sisters.

Dear friend.

First time in one year my whole family was together. Big card game - lots of laughter.

One crazy cute bunch. Celebrating James' 20th birthday. God is good!

All together!!!

God takes my breath away. No matter where I am, He is there. His Presence is so thick, so fulfilling. I have had such rich rich times with God during this past month at home. He always brings me back to our secret place, the most important thing - intimacy with Him. Baby steps with Him, minute by minute. Trusting His lead each step of the way, no matter where my feet are in the world.

Thank you to everyone who came to my open house! What a blessing! I can't tell you how much it meant to me! Seeing your faces and hugging your necks brought so much color to my heart, thank you thank you. It was a beautiful evening with dear friends and family, paintings, hoots, laughter and sweet conversation.

This Thursday, July 28th, I will get on a plane and fly back across the world to Brisbane, Australia. No matter where I am, I know God holds me - He is my source for everything. I am excited about the next 10 months. God has so much in store! I will be leading another Discipleship Training School (DTS) - the students will arrive at the end of October and the school is for 7 months. Until then I will be serving on the YWAM Base and in the community, preparing for the school through prayer, planning, and finishing my art studio where the students will create with the Lord - and learn how to just enjoy Him and use their gifts to glorify Him.

Thank you for your prayers and support! May blessings shower on you today and everyday! I love you!

Dear moon

2011-07-07T18:57:00.005+10:00

I heard beautiful music earlier tonight. Sat at a black table with a friend and starred somewhere on the stage, lost in the beautiful notes and voices that echoed all around me. I drove home enjoying the dear company of my darling friend. I noticed the moon was hiding, a misty cloud layer was all I could see. Even though I couldn't find the moon, I knew it was still shining. Gods gentle loving reminder that even when I can't see what He's doing, I know He hasn't left my side and His eyes haven't left me. If you search for Him, you will find Him. I walked into a sleepy house and poured a glass of juice.

You know those days when you're dying to talk to your best friend? Waiting for them to get off work or answer their phone so you can spill your heart in hopes that they will catch it and have something to say? God is really bringing me to a place where time after time He is that person for me. He began speaking to me about this when I was in Germany and the Czech Republic. Speaking to me harshly, really wanting to get my attention day after day - He is the only constant thing. He is the only thing that can satisfy my heart. I walked into the dark rec room of the house, set my juice down on a small table, and just collapsed on my tummy on the couch - rested on a soft pillow, well many pillows surrouded me actually. I took a deep breath and just layed there for about 10 minutes. I had so much to tell my Lover and I couldn't wait. I began to whisper my heart. He really is the well that won't run dry, the ocean that never ends, the eyes that never shut.

The moon is still shining, even though I can't see it tonight. God never loses sight of me, and He never loses sight of you. Just talk to Him, tell Him about your day, your night with a friend, your fears, a funny joke, He can't wait to hear about it all.

Bon Iver meets my ears once again - tends to be my music for writing these days. Picture a pitch black field and all of a sudden a glowing butterfly leaves a tree branch and begins the fly, being the only glowing thing in sight. I feel like I'm that butterfly, writing to a dark void. Everyone is probably asleep at this hour. But thats ok! Well these are my words, and if you are reading them, smile please - God has so much love for you. I love you too, sweet one.

Bon Iver

2011-06-23T21:43:00.003+10:00

Sitting on my room floor with my back against my lounge chair. Hands a bit chilly because its winter here, my little heater on and a warm jumper with the hood up. Juice to my left - Multi Fruits. My mind is still. God is so good. Bon Iver streaming through my headphones. His music is like my juice. It's not just apple or orange or berry flavor, its all of them combined creating something extraordinary.

I've written more songs recently. Hello, Delicate Rain, and Evergreen Trees. Its so beautiful to do what you love. I've been praying that God would show me what's right in front of me, that I would love every bit and be fully content in Him - that he would awaken my passions and creativity with Him. Music has been like a rapid river in my life these past two months. I come alive with I play guitar, when I open my mouth and sing to my Lover.

Ten months ago I passed the security and waved goodbye to my mom and little sister Alli in the Nashville airport, and walked on a plane that took me here, Australia. I was walking away from everything familiar, everything comfortable. I landed in a country where I knew no one, not one soul. Together God and I kept walking and He took me on this journey. He taught me to embrace the unknown, that He is enough when I have nothing and no one. He's brought me over mountains, we've climbed steep hills, at the top He's given me a parachute and together we have soared down to a field full of wildflowers. He's given me wings and taught me how to fly. He's taught me how to trust when I'm in free fall, to keep walking and trust when I am blind. He's taught me that intimacy with Him is the most important thing in this life. No human can ever satisfy me like God can right now. He stood with me in front of the mirror and told me who I am, to the core of me, each day He speaks to me my identity in Him. I feel like I could write a whole book about the last ten months but that's some of it in a nut shell. In six days I will walk in the Brisbane airport alone, walk onto a plane that will take me to Nashville, TN. After 30+ hours of travel I will enter what is familiar, yet after 10 months apart, will seem unfamiliar. I've become so used to the unknown I don't know how I my heart will feel when I lay eyes on my family. Its a feeling that can't really be expressed in words. I will meet my family face to face. Praise the Lord for skype and phone calls and email, but face to face, nothing is like that.

I feel like a letter, one small letter that's mailed all around the world. Small mailboxes, my temporary home. This letter has a writer, a place where it was first sealed. And soon, very soon I will meet this place I call home. Sure your heart is your home, but no one, no where, can ever replace real family. I praise the Lord for my precious family.

This is a bit of what's cuddled in my heart right now - spilled out in words that hopefully make sense. All that to say, if you're reading this.. if you know me or you don't know me very well, I hope you know that God sees you right in this moment. Wherever you are in this world, you are visible. You yourself are a letter and you were sealed at what you call home and God is the writer of your story, from day one He hemmed you, knit you bit by bit. You are precious! The more I travel, all glory to God, the more I see that we really are all like flowers in a field. Each flower unique and precious on its own. But every flower desires sunshine, perfect love to fill their hearts, rain to grow in dry seasons, fulfillment. Don't lose sight of the flowers that surround you, people created in the image of God.

If you are a little flower that lives in Nashville I will be seeing your darling face very soon. I think this is all for now. More Bon Iver, a cozy blanket, and a book sounds nice.

I love you, really I do.

Wrapped in Piano Strings

2011-06-17T10:06:00.011+10:00

Click on the link and turn your volume up. This is beautiful!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iKGsvi6wm0&feature=related

The sun is shining is beaming through the window in my office, landing on my desk, hitting my chill bump arms. The windows and doors are always open so the cool breeze is dancing through and the birds are singing their song. The crows are more like shouting. If it weren't for the sunshine I would be freezing. The last six weeks have been restful in many ways. I've been making more hoots and sewing clothes. I found so many blank tank tops and shirts in my closet I decided to start sewing things on them! Here is one tank top I made.

A little hoot on a tree branch.

My line of hoots in progress. All they need is stuffing.

I'm working on another shirt right now. My idea has something to do with birdcages! I can't believe I fly home in just 2 weeks. The excitement is building.

I love you!

Yellow

2011-06-03T22:38:00.007+10:00

Here are a few photos I've taken recently. I absolutely love photography. I'm so passionate about it! Many artist sometimes come to a wall when it comes to inspiration, but with a camera you just walk anywhere and look through the lens, beauty is displayed everywhere, Gods glory is everywhere, and capturing that beautifully in a frame is something worth noticing. Its all around us! When you look at it through a camera you begin to notice the details, the little stitches sewn in creation.

You are wonderful. I fly home in just a few weeks! So if you live in Nashville I will see your beautiful face soon, can't wait! Love you!

Bloom

2011-05-23T21:55:00.009+10:00

You wake up and find nothing pressing on your to do list. Except the word REST. You pack your bag, grab your camera, guitar, your journal, and your eno. Fill up your water bottle, zip your bag and meet your bike just as the sun is barely rising. You ride to a field far away from your home - you play a few songs to the lilies while the world is still sleeping. You say hello to the sun as it peaks over the horizon line. You write a song, put it on paper and tie it to a tree branch close by - maybe someone will read it and smile one day - or the tree will hold a memory of my beautiful morning. You ride through tree tunnels, and don't care if you get lost, you reach a cliff and tie your eno to some trees - and you enjoy the delicate weaves above creating a shadow like the finest lace below. You take out your camera to capture the beauty around. The sun rays, the wings of flapping birds, the detail of bark, feathers that fall, or butterflies that land on your toes - your mind holds nothing but this moment and the Perfect Love that never leaves you. After a few hours you decide its time to climb, you know a place not to far away - you ride and enjoy the wind, you meet some people as you climb and climb - then its just you and your running shoes, you find a path and run for a few hours - nothing behind you only your breath before you, your mind becomes still as your heart follows the rhythm of your feet. Reaching your bike again you ride back to the field where you started - you aren't in a rush - just like the sun is slowly saying goodbye, spreading its color onto the clouds and everything in sight, you petal towards this breathtaking color - you meet your field - you sit and stretch, your legs needs a rest. Before you head home you play a few more songs to the surrounding birds and flowers. Completely free, so content. No watch, the sun tells the time. As it falls behind the tree line you begin to petal home. Reaching your driveway after dark - people are already tucked away in their houses with their loved ones, only a few drivers out because its a chillier night then normal. You step inside, cuddle up with some tea, have a hot shower - turn of your electronics and put on some soft music - you write a thankful for list and close your eyes - you are excited for what tomorrow holds - but for now, you must dream.

This is a peak into my world on a day off - when nothing is on my to do list except the word rest.

May Update!

2011-05-18T16:47:00.004+10:00

I have exciting news! I got a cheap ticket home for June 29th! I fly home in less than two months! God is so good. I will be home for 4 weeks. During that time I will be raising support and spending quality time with my family and friends. It will be a packed 4 weeks but restful at the same time. If you want to see me or hang out at anytime it would be a good idea to email me now and let me know! I'd love to see you!

Its coming Winter now on this side of the world. The day starts off really crispy cold. I wake up and make my tea, I grab my sweater and usually wear a scarf. The sun tends to peak out as the day goes on, still chilly but a balance with the sunlight. Probably the most refreshing weather. The bugs hide away and its definitely not hot but not too cold either. Its an excuse to cuddle up under warm covers, have a hot tea, and read a good book. I've had time to journal recently and its been so lovely. I'm about to start a few new painting projects, very much looking forward to that! I will post pictures of the progress.

I've been falling in love with my camera more each day. I'm in a season of learning more how I rest. Going away somewhere just my camera, God and I, is really restful for me. What brings you rest?

About two weeks ago I was walking down my street and saw an old man with a walker ahead of me. I ended up reaching him and said hello. We started talking, I kept at his pace. His name is Victor. He is 94 years old and happens to live alone on the street next to mine. His wife died when she was about 80. He began telling me all bout his life, the whole time his eyes were bright and his smile was full of joy. My face was lit up too, as I stood there in peace just listening to him talk. He eventually had to keep walking to the store, and I had to part my way but he invited me over for tea anytime I'd like. So last week I was walking back to the house and felt the Lord nudge my heart to stop my his house. He is number 15 with a cute red mailbox. So I walked over and knocked on his door. He answered with a smile. He didn't quite remember me right away but that's okay, he is 94 years old. I talked with him for a while and found out a little bit more about him. I think I'm gonna make him some cookies or bring him a gluten free snack for when I go see him next week. I hope this friendship continues. It's a simple story but one that made my heart full of joy, a sweet encounter, a new friend. I wanted to share it with you.

I'm gonna go for a long run now. One of the highlights of my day. Keep smiling, you're so beautiful. I will write soon. I love you.

Wednesday Thoughts

2011-04-13T23:43:00.005+10:00

My day is coming to a close. Its been a full day. Like an envelope tightly packed with letters and notes, my envelope for today will soon be sealed and sent off as my eyelids close. It will be placed in my book, it never leaves my story. I just finished washing my face and brushing my teeth - one of the greatest feelings I think, clean teeth and a fresh clean face, completely bare. I often think about deep things. Just before brushing my teeth I prayed out loud with my roommate, after the prayer time I just sat there saying, "I want more, I want more of God, I know there's more." As I walked to the bathroom and as I was brushing my teeth God brought this question to mind, "What do you crave, Alicia? What are you chasing? What are you running after?" I stopped for a second. I often crave chocolate milk or apple juice, or a good run. I stopped and thought about it seriously - I got this picture of me seeing my family right now, if I saw them across a field I would without question sprint to them with everything inside of me. I want to sprint after God like that. To get to that place I think I first have to really answer that question for myself. Am I chasing anything other than God? If so I need to turn around and run away from it! I only want to run after God, which means I must daily choose with Gods grace and strength to run away from things of this world. "I wanna waste my life on you God. I just break open this heart, pour it all over you Lord, you're so worthy you're so worthy worthy are you Lord, you gave it all you gave it all you gave it all, I wanna give it all I wanna give it all, every drop of who I am on you lamb of God, my heart it bleeds for you my heart it bleeds for you, every beat of my heart let it be, let it be, let it be worship on your feet Jesus, every tear that I weep you come down and you catch, and you say this is the one, the one that I love. I wanna waste my life on you God. I don't care what people in this room may say, I don't care anymore, I only wanna please you Lord, I only wanna see you smile Daddy, just to make you happy, so all I wanna do for the rest of my life, is just love you, just love you, cause you don't stop loving me, I can't stop loving you, you don't stop loving me, I can't stop loving you, you don't stop loving me, I can't stop loving you. Never gonna leave, you're never gonna leave. Never gonna leave, no no. You're breaking off the shame, you're breaking off the fear, you're breaking off the disappointment of the seasons, when I thought you left me, and I can see your hand reaching out over me, and I can hear your voice, "I'm never gonna leave I'm never gonna leave I'm never gonna leave I'm never gonna leave I'm never gonna leave I'm never gonna leave never never never!!!!!!!!" Jonathan David Helser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D__FhynL7k (In this video its Jonathan and his wife singing together in the studio at one point. I love it so much, its such a beautiful picture! I pray I can do that with my husband one day! How incredible would that be!)

I don't want it to just be a feeling in worship or in a good day because everything went great. I want to crave Him. I want to choose Him. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. What are you chasing after? What do you crave? That's such a good question to ask. I'm at a real raw place with God right now. I so long for more of Him in every way. I'm at the place where its like, "Ok God you have to wreck me with your love, you have to show up, be real, I know you're real, do something, I'm yours." More of His love, more of His heart, just more. I'm going running tomorrow morning at 5:30. I'm not a morning person at all, but God's really put it on my heart to have discipline in my life, to make routines and rhythms - one rhythm I want to form concrete in my life is quality time, time that isn't rushed or skipped over, set aside time with God during my runs. To run with Him every morning. I want to know His voice like I know my best friends voice. I want to know Alicia better, I want to know what He's called me to. I want to dive deeper into Him more than ever before. I want to crave His love above anything this world says I need. I want to choose Him and desire Him more than I desire anything - work, food, exercise, attention, a guy, money, anything - that's honestly where I'm at.

My finger tips are callused. I've been playing guitar everyday. Something that's also a beautiful rhythm. I'm learning the banjo too, and playing more piano. Alone time with God just worshipping Him, spending time with Him as I play and sing my hearts song. Playing music and singing awakens my soul. Like painting. I'm thankful for my hands, I'm so thankful for my voice. I'm thankful for my ears.

I've been painting more recently. My new favorite thing is to stretch my own canvas behind a wood frame. Painting with acrylic and sewing with needle and thread somewhere in the painting. Here are a few I did the other day.

The writing says, "My design is beautiful."

Worship. Praise. Praise, more praise, more praise. More time worshipping at His feet soaking in His perfect love. This is where I want to stay.

I love you, yes you. I will write again soon. I have one prayer request - please be praying that I can find a cheap cheap ticket to Nashville. I would love to fly home June 29th, right now my parents and I are looking and the tickets are 3,000 +. I'm believe for a cheap ticket! Please believe with me and pray pray pray!

Update!

2011-04-07T18:54:00.002+10:00

Dear lovely blog readers,

If you've been keeping up to date with my blog then you are probably aware of where I am and what I'm doing. For those that don't know, let me tell you!

I am currently YWAM Staff in Brisbane, Australia. I left Tennessee this past Fall and moved to Brisbane August 25th. YWAM is an international nondenominational volunteer organization. My commitment as staff is for 2 years. In that time I will be staffing 2 DTS' (Discipleship Training School) and I will have a 6 month logistical phase where I will be serving on the base here in Brisbane and around the community where they need help. I am praying and planning to go home for a 4 week holiday at the end of June. I'm so passionate about where I am and what God has me doing here, and I want you to know how He's working and I want you to know how you can help support me! My biggest prayer request is for financial support. My base bill is 250$ a month. Right now I have money for the next 3 months. I haven't bought my plane ticket home yet either, and I need money for that as well. I love the Body of Christ and how we can all be connected by supporting each other, even when we are in different countries! My desire is for you to be apart of this with me, and to walk along side me on this journey. Thank you for hearing my heart!

The most efficient way to send money is by mailing a check to

9205 Natchez Drive

Brentwood, TN 37027

(My home in TN)

payable to Alicia McLeod. If you were to mail it to Australia there would be a significant processing fee.

I look forward to you journeying with me! I love you guys!

The Basket

2011-04-04T00:23:00.006+10:00

I wrote this song in Amsterdam just a few days ago. I sat on a wood floor in an empty room at about four in the afternoon with the windows open wide, the cold breeze felt so refreshing on my freckled face. My eyes were frozen on endless fields of beautiful green, then they met the deep blue, and these words came out of my mouth. It's called the basket.

The Basket

It landed, in my field

Unexpected, it fell down

Somewhere high above the clouds your thoughts rest in a basket

Somewhere far beyond this tree line your heart soars

It soars

Just like a balloon is set free

I let it be

Germany to Czech Republic

2011-03-15T08:19:00.006+10:00

My time with God, writing on the train from Berlin to Cheb...

Berlin to Cheb this morning. Intense cleaning and bags packed to the brim. The clouds decided to cry today. The first time since we've been here. The morning felt like a cluster of birds rushing through the sky up and down ordering clouds and clearing the sky. Now I'm on the train. Two levels to this rectangle on wheels. Gliding through Europe like penguins on ice. Fields...mmm. Oh how I've missed you. Bare fields with colorful rooftops near the horizon. I'm not a city girl. I'm not a country girl. I'm both. Like a cozy plad shirt. Horizontals mixed with verticals creating a balanced pattern. Little bits of both. One month in the city. It felt like a lot longer. When you're in the city you miss the horizon, grass, and stars. Little things that are needed in my world. The fields right now are the color of sand, wet sand. Bare tall trees like wooden spiderwebs against the cotton white sky. From far away it feels like a dream. The colors of this landscape are soft. There's not much contrast at all. Damien Rice. Chilled water. Skating behind glass windows though open fields and bare choirs of trees praising God. Every once and a while the train stops, the only thing that seems to be moving is my breathing. After a short moment of resting in a cute cobblestone town with yellow houses, the train drives on. My mind is full yet empty at the same time. I feel so close to God in this moment. I'm out of reach to anyone. I like that feeling. Far away. People can't reach me, and I can't reach anyone. This is kind of precious. I just talk to my best friend. Much of the world today is filled with so much noise, its really refreshing to have quiet in almost every way.

My time is Berlin was so incredible words can't even describe. I feel so blessed in every way. From day one, blessing after blessing. God really does know what I need, He knows what's best for me, and I'm really seeing that here. One of my favorite ministries we did in Berlin was worship on the train. We would take our guitars, egg shakers, the glock, harmonica, and a heart to enter into Gods presence, to just praise our Papa. We would go on the U-Bahn, the train that circles around all of Berlin. It took about an hour to go all the way around, and we would just sit and play and sing to God, connect to Him each individually and together. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. God has given me an even greater heart for worship since coming to Germany. I find myself singing all the time, trying to write new songs. I'm learning more guitar and piano each day and worship has become my biggest passion. I know its something I'm called to and I'm so excited about it. So the worship on the train and on the streets was unreal. I like to think of Gods presence like water seeping from me creating puddles. This water, these puddles are left everywhere I go because I remain in Him and He remains in me. Many people play on the trains and would ask fro money, but when we would just worship and not ask for money, you could totally tell people were drawn in and could feel the presence of God, they just didn't know it. Puddles were everywhere!

Another highlight of my time in Berlin was our Art Show/Live Music night we just had at der garten (a ministry we were working with, small cafe) We showed the Identity video I'm in, had made flyers and passed them out since week one. We just wanted to love on people, I'm so passionate about unconditional love and joy. We had munchies and would each play music at different times. Our art was hanging up around the cafe. We also had this wonderful idea of a prophetic art table where people could come and we could pray for them and paint or draw whatever word God gave us for them. Kim, the owner of the cafe would explain to people that I was praying for people and getting prophetic words, words of encouragement, whatever God told me, and painting that for them. We had a stack of 3x3 flat canvas squares and some paint, paper and pens - I was sitting there for most of the night. People would come sit down and I would ask them, "Can I pray for you?" At first it was one person every while, but once they knew what I was doing, and once people started sharing what I had painted for them there was a line of people waiting to be prayed for. People would tap me on the shoulder and say, "me next, me next!" I knew it was all God. I felt like my spirit was flying, like I was swimming or something, I was in such a flow, I felt so at peace. After I prayed and God gave me a word for this one lady, I hugged her she said, "Alicia I hope you know you're not just walking in a gift, you're walking in an anointing." My eyes filled with tears. I was speechless. Ever since coming to Berlin God has been telling me who I am, my identity in Him grows stronger everyday. Its so beautiful to hear from God who I am, and then when people say things like she did, it just confirms it. This night of prophetic art was huge for me. Not because I was the one painting or praying, no no. But because in connecting to Gods presence and just talking to Him about His precious kids, He showed me again that prophetic art especially for others is something I'm crazy passionate about, something I'm meant to do. I'm discovering more of Alicia everyday as I drown in His presence, and open my heart to His perfect love.

I wish I could write more but its midnight and my eyes are very tired. Thats a short update for now, I'm in the Czech Republic, at peace and so thankful.

I love you guys. I will write soon.

Video update!

2011-03-06T09:43:00.002+10:00

I uploaded a short video update on my facebook page. I can't figure out how to upload it on here...so check out my facebook page. Its the March 5th update!

Love love love!

If you ever want to skype me just let me know - aliciagrace1

Worship on the train

2011-03-04T07:53:00.021+10:00

Just outside our apartment, walking to the train. It's time to worship.

Worship on the train

Praise the Lord! We had a great conversation with this man

Waiting for the bus home

Nice and warm with tea and covers...

2011-02-26T05:48:00.005+10:00

Bundled up nice and warm after a wonderful day of ministry

We worshipped all day today! It was incredible! I played the glockenspiel and sang. We played everywhere we walked - in the train, on the streets, in the busses, at the stations, above staircases, everywhere, worship worship worship!! Tomorrow at 11AM we are going to a 24 hour prayer, worship, and intercession time happening with this group called Burn. God is building my heart for worship every single day. Singing and playing music for me is extremely special. What a great day. Sweet dreams everyone! Or as Meg Ryan would say on You've Got Mail "Goodnight dear void"

Knitted Moccasins

2011-02-20T18:48:00.010+10:00

Goodbye bare feet. Hello knitted moccasins.

So I'm in Berlin now. I've been here six days. Where to begin, there's so much to say. Its very cold! My fingers feel like ice cubes right now. But thats okay, I want to write. I am still getting over jet lag, but adjusting really well. The culture here in Berlin is very different than Australia. Everyone keeps to themselves. You don't see many smiles when you're walking on the streets or in the train. Most people have no expression and don't really like making eye contact with you, they know where they're going and they get there fast. The other day when we were walking to the train I was wearing color and as we walked through a crowd of people I noticed everyone was wearing black or grey, you would see the occasional colored scarf but overall there wasn't much color. I felt like I was the only one wearing color, for a split second I felt like I was in a movie clip. God is giving me a big heart for the people in this city. I am excited to "splash color on this grey city, and onto the hearts of the people in it." I feel like I could write a whole book just about my experience on the train each day. Our apartment is cozy. We live on the very top floor and there is no elevator in this building. I love stairs, really I do. At the train stations as well there are heaps of stairs, its fun. I have tea every morning, and multiple times a day in my yellow mug. I call my mug sunshine. I love being all bundled up inside when its super cold out. When the trees are bare and the windows are frosty. My mornings are quiet and my times with God have been unreal. He is so good to me. I can't believe I'm in Germany. I could go on about the simple sweet things, but what I really want to talk about is what God's been doing in my heart. Because to be honest, like I've said before, its not about who I am or where I go, its about who God is and what He does, its all about Him.

I realize my posts are always long, I'm not sure if many people read them, if you do I am so grateful. Its so good for my soul to write, and if one person is encouraged along the way it makes it all worth it. If you're that one, be blessed. This is my first time to really be alone since I left Australia and writing to peaceful music is so relaxing for me, so here goes...

Ok so I have a few stories to share. I got on the train and sat down in front of an old man with glasses and a big black coat. He had a serious face and seemed to have a lot on his mind as he looked out the window scanning the buildings and trees. A few stops went by then he got off and went on his way. I really have come to love public transportation. For a short moment in time you are in someone else's world. For a short second a whole bunch of people are in a rectangle thing called a train headed in the same direction. Individually everyone is in their own world but physically not alone. I wish I could make a movie about it. Ok back to my moment, after that old man left another old man came walking through the train doors and sat in the seat directly in front of me. I was sitting on the aisle seat with my ipod in, very quiet and at peace. He had a black coat on as well, a grey scarf all bunched together, he was bald and had glasses. His face was full of love wrinkles. When I first saw his face and looked into his eyes he was starring at the ground. I love observing people, sensing their heart, reading their eyes, praying for them. I see things in color all the time. I like to pray for people and often I ask the Lord, "What color is their heart right now? and what color do they need?" Many people here in Berlin seem to have greyish color eyes and hearts that are frozen with color inside just waiting to be set free. When I saw this man starring at the ground, when I looked into his eyes I saw a green color, green and blue. A few seconds went by, he was sitting directly in front of me a few inches away, so that can sometimes be awkward for people. I don't think it is but others sometiems do. He was looking his way and I was looking mine, then I closed my eyes because the song I was listening to was so beautiful. I smile, a simple smile, no teeth and close my eyes. When I open my eyes the sweet old man is looking directly into my eyes. He had the most loving face, his smile was gentle and his eye contact was sincere. It wasn't a flying gaze, his eyes were resting, he was at peace. I saw color in his eyes. Its rare you look at a stranger directly in the eyes for three full seconds in peace. People avoid lasting eye contact I've noticed. However this moment was unlike anything. I feel like most of the people here in Berlin have very grey hearts like I said before, no color at all. Its like their color is their, its just frozen. Its like this sweet elderly man was so used to people with grey but when he saw my eyes he knew my heart had lots of color, and it was okay. Because his heart had lots of color too. And for that short short moment we shared our color. It was the first genuine smile I've received from a German since I got here. God always without fail puts elderly people in my path. He knows I adore them. The more I travel the more I love people. I love the gift Gods given me to see color and think in color. Such a blessing. Another incredible moment...I walked into Starbucks, I wanted some tea and I wanted to write, and a taste of home since I used to work there. The line was kind of long and there was no English being spoken anywhere. It soon came my turn to order and I smiled at the lady and said, "only english" in German then ordered. She was sweet. i get to the checkout and this sharp looking asian was standing there speaking heaps of German too and I smiled and said "only english" to him as well. And he changes and says "oh okay go ahead.." I told him what I ordered and as he was getting my receipt he looks at me and says, "wow you have the most beautiful smile. keep smiling." I was completely taken back! Germans aren't quick to say something like that but this man did. I took three steps forward and waited for my drink and I heard the Lord say, "darling, i see you here in this crowd where you know no one, you are beautiful." Ever since August, since I moved to Australia, God has been speaking to me so much about Him as my Lover, my identity and worth, identity and worth, over and over again. Such a precious season. The most amazing journey with my best friend, a journey that will never end, never end.

I led worship at a youth group a few nights ago, the team and I. I sang and played the glockenspiel. I love singing with all my heart. I feel so comfortable on stage with a microphone. After the service several people came up to me and said how much they loved my voice and how beautiful it was. This one guy came up to me towards the end, he was extremely tall and had a fun knitted hat on. He walks up to me and shakes my hand and says, "when you were singing and when you shared part of your testimony God gave me a word for you." My face lit up because I wasn't expecting to hear that at all! I am so in awe of Gods goodness and blessing. He goes, "I saw you at the front of an army, the army was full of color and each person was holding a paintbrush for their sword and they were splashing color everywhere, and were worshiping through painting and song." and he goes, "and you were speaking to them, you were inspiring them through your art, your color, and your voice." After he says all that he just smiles and goes, "yea so I just feel like God wanted me to tell you that. and you are great by the way." My eyes filled with tears and I thanked him so much for walking over and for listening to the Lord and telling me that. WOW!!!! If you know me at all you can understand my WOW, even though that doesn't do it justice at all. This guy had never seen me before in his life. His picture God gave him confirmed so much! Like I said, this season had been so much identity for me. Just me and God, Him speaking to me about who I am and my worth. Who is Alicia, what does Alicia love, what is Alicia passionate about, and what is God calling me to. As I think about my passions, color color color, painting, worship, singing, love! Splashing color on people's hearts through love, painting and song all in and through a lifestyle of worship, I'm just blown away. For so long I thought that being different was a bad thing. I thought I was less special because I wasn't good at math, science, school was harder for me, I didn't want to be a doctor or have a big flashy career with heaps of money. But now I know thats not true at all. There is only one Alicia Grace in all of the world and that in itself makes me breathtakingly beautiful. And what I love, the passions God has placed in my little colorful heart are okay and lovely. I don't need to change or be someone else. I will never be a doctor or love math. I love art, color, and love. And I'm passionate about praise. Praising God. True worship from the heart. Being me is enough. That applies to everyone, you! Being you is enough.

Deep breath. I'm so thankful for the way I see and process the world around me. I have so many short film ideas in my heart and mind that I so wish could happen. So many things I could do with these thoughts and things God teaching me, the little things I write about. One day I pray, one day. If I can encourage you in anyway, get to a place where you love yourself completely, know your identity in God.

Those were a few little moments that I wanted to share with you. My nose, fingers, and toes are officially frozen. Its definitely time for sunsine. (tea)

Be so blessed wherever you are in the world dear family and friends. Thank you so much for every prayer, every thought. I definitely feel covered. As always, enjoy your moments and enjoy God. He's always waiting to spend time with you. He loves you so much and so do I! Ok I'm gonna go spend time with Jesus, drink some tea, draw, and put my pjs on. I will write again soon when I have time.

Flight details for Monday

2011-02-12T02:49:00.008+10:00

Here's an update lovely friends and family back home. Please be praying for my team and I as we leave Brisbane and fly to Europe Monday morning! Here are our travel details.

Depart from Brisbane Mon 14 Feb at 2:40pm
Arrive at Singapore Mon 14 Feb at 8:35pm
Layover in Singapore
Depart from Singapore Mon 14 Feb at 11:50pm
Arrive at Amsterdam Tue 15 at 6:35am
About 4 hours in the city resting and sipping tea, then we catch a train that will take us to our final destination: Berlin!

The train ride is about 6 hours. We hope to arrive in Berlin by 5:30pm on the 15th. We have a band rehearsal that night we arrive at 7pm. We will be joining with a band at a church in Berlin for a huge worship night the following week! It's going to be incredible! After that rehearsal we will be able to settle in in our apartment and rest for the night. It will be a long time of travel but oh how I love traveling. Airports are my favorite place in the world! All of the money I needed was raised just in time today, God is so incredibly good! The current weather in Berlin says snow showers, which brings sunny skies to the weather inside my heart. I love cozy weather, boots, scarfs and knitted hats, leaving your footprint in the snow and catching small kisses on your nose as trees hibernate and everything seems quiet. I'm so thankful to soon be in a cold climate! It will be refreshing to leave the scorching Australian sun for a while. Beach and bare feet to snow and scarves. Thank you Jesus for warm weather, thank you for cold weather. Logistical stuff here at the base is going great, my main thing I need to do is laundry, pack, and clean. I have a little bit more paperwork to finish up tomorrow, but everything is almost ready!

Peace is possible in every moment and I definitely experienced that this week and today. This week was insanely busy and could have been stressful. At times it was, but when you take time to choose joy and you choose Gods grace over the worlds stress, you experience perfect peace in what could easily be a stressful time. So no matter what you go through, God has grace for that moment and His grace is enough and His peace is perfect and real.

I will update again soon. I love you guys. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Ti Kuan Yin

2011-02-03T22:13:00.011+10:00

These are my words from inside. I took a day off today. I needed to recharge.

How cool would it be to be like a tree firmly planted in the midst of a city full of chaos and motion? To be a peaceful encounter for a stressed out soul. A "how are you?" for someone who feels unseen. To be a simple, genuine smile for everyone that passes through your tea shop. People may never remember my name or me at all, and thats okay. What matters isn't what I receive, its what I give, what they receive. So many people focus on the big things in life. The big buildings. If it weren't for every little screw there wouldn't even be a building. I'm so passionate about the little things in this thing called life. The little individual flowers that make up a field. The little petals that make up a flower. I love finding beauty in everything. I love finding beauty in everyone. Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and appreciated. I went through a long period of feeling invisible and I know what that feels like. I also know what it feels like to receive a smile or for someone to say "how are you? you're wonderful." or even an "I love you." I'm passionate about bringing light, even if its just one tiny candle, to souls that are without light. If you have a dark room and you put one tiny candle somewhere in it, it may not be a spotlight, but it does light up the room. This is what I love. This is what I would love to do. A tea shop similar to starbucks, I'd love for it to be worldwide. Tea and fruit. Color and frozen berries. What would the tea shop be called? Hmm, 'You are wonderful: Tea and Fruit just for you' - 'The Dwelling: Tea Shop and Fruit' Oh I have no idea, haha. It's fun to dream. I'd have little sayings written on each mug or cup - you are wonderful. you are loved. you are precious. you are beautiful. I would give away my hoot hoots and turtles. Yes, these are things I write about, think about. It may never happen and that's okay, but what if it does?

I sat in Borders for several hours today. This particular Borders has three stories. I walked around, not in a hurry at all, looking through the aisles and searching for an empty comfy chair. The tea section was on the third floor. I gathered two books about tea and one book about China. Oh I just love reading about tea. Here in Australia there are a lot of Asians. A Chinese man sat across from me on the train. He seemed very sad. He had a book in his hand but his eyes didn't seem to be moving. He eventually closed his book and looked around a bit. We met eyes and I sent him a smile, but his face was blank. As he looking out the window I began to pray for him in my mind and sensed he was really hurting. I carried this man in my thoughts as I walked to Borders. For some reason I wanted to read about China. So I sat up on the third floor in this one comfy chair, occasionally I would rest on the floor. I read my tea books and fell in love with my book on China. I love this one quote from the tea book: "Sitting at night in a mountain pavilion, drawing spring water to boil tea. As the water and fire battle it out, the scent of the pine pillows through the trees as I pour a cup, bathed in light from the clouds. The profound pleasure of this moment is hard to convey in words to those of common tastes." -Ming Dynasty Literati

My moment in The Tea Centre. There's a certain tea for every mood. I like to think that. Ti Kuan Yin (the green style Oolong) meets my mood right now. I was going to choose the Earl Grey Blue Flower, but I decided on Oolong. My spirit is searching for calm. A calm like still undisturbed water. The flavor of this tea is deep and rich. The aroma is fresh and clean. I love oolong teas. Their aroma is fresh. This green oolong tea isn't speaking a lot. Some teas are very colorful and carry lots of flavor, meeting different emotions, like a bouquet of flowers. My tea right now, if it had to be one color I would say a teal. A soft blue green teal. For me, right now this tea carries only one flower - not a bouquet. This tea is quiet, which is just what I need. Quiet like me. It's a perfect cup of tea if tears were to fall. Tears are beautiful, when there are no words to be found, when your outside is frozen and your heart feels like crashing waves. Tears bring healing, tears release the built up waves. Thank you Ti Kuan Yin for meeting my mood. I can't put into words how much I adore tea. It's something to be experienced and appreciated everyday. What kind of tea meets your mood right now?

Go make yourself a cup of tea. Remember to cover your tea while its brewing! I love you guys. Thank you for reading.

The end of January

2011-01-31T01:07:00.008+10:00

I feel like my mind is a cage and right now there are so many birds just longing to be set free. Writing sometimes helps open the cage so the birds can soar. What did I do tonight? I ran close to fifteen miles with Jesus. I'm so passionate about running. I couldn't do it without Him. When I run with Jesus I feel like I could run forever and ever. It was my favorite part of today. I stood in the middle of the road completely alone with only a few street lights in the distance shining. The stars looked like sand there were so many. Oh to sit on a star and look around, that would be lovely. I came back up to my room and sat on my windowsill as I drank water and stretched. I watched the city lights and heard the train every once in a while, an occasional car, and a few distant voices from the people downstairs. I love watching life happen from a distance. As my feet were resting on the roof, as I was sitting looking out in the dark night sky, the feeling of the wind itself made me want to cry. I'm so overwhelmed by God's love. Each day He's been showing me more and more of His love for me. Taking me to new levels of intimacy that I never thought were possible. Also in the past few days I've been asking myself, "Why am I here?" After much silence the only thing that came to mind was, "I love to love people." Its so simple. Four small words. Obviously there's more to it then that but thats one big reason. I am so passionate about little things. Little things that may be nothings to some people but to me they are the opposite of nothing. Such as running with Jesus, seeing an elderly person walking and going to say hi, enjoying a warm cup of tea alone in my art studio, walking everywhere barefoot simply because I can, juice, color, the wind, I could go on. So simple, yet to me they are all breathtakingly beautiful. The last one I could talk about forever. That little thing, the wind, right now is my favorite. Times when I feel frozen in every way, it still embraces me. Times when I'm alive and dance, its there. Times when I'm running, it runs with me. Times when I smile, it tickles my face. It is always there. When I'm lost inside my heart, it swirls around as if longing to embrace me. Sometimes I like to think that the wind never stops chasing after my soul. The wind being God. So incredible.

Two weeks from today, on Valentines Day, I'll be getting on a plane that will land in Singapore. From Singapore I will fly to Amsterdam, rest there for a few days, then get on a train to Berlin. It's hard to believe outreach is already here. I look forward to wearing my hats and scarfs. Mm, tea and snowflakes. Somedays it feels like just yesterday I landed Australia. I've been here almost six months. Wow.

I just finished my tea. I think that means its time for sleep. I love you guys heaps. You are wonderful.

"For we live by faith, not by sight."

2011-01-24T23:00:00.006+10:00

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Right now I feel as if I have a blindfold on, yet I rest secure and at peace because I have a perfect Father that loves me unconditionally and He never leaves me. So even when I can't see or understand, He sees and He understands. And when all God says again and again is, "Alicia, trust me." I have to believe that means He has something better for me then what I can see right in front of me. Its like a shadow - shadows seem dark and confusing, I feel like I'm looking at a shadow and God is saying "Trust Me, trust Me!!!" I have to believe that whatever is creating this shadow, the bigger picture that I can't see, is much more beautiful and way better!!! This gives me hope! This gives me peace - knowing that I'm not supposed to be in control or figure everything out. I'm supposed to rely on my Father to provide and watch over me, to be my strength always - I can't do anything in my own strength - to live a life on my knees before Him, chin up, eyes looking to Him - it's not about me, its all about Jesus.

This is my heart - where I am, what I'm doing, and my current need.

For those of you that don't know, I am here in Australia with a worldwide organization called YWAM (Youth With A Mission). I am in a staff/leadership position. I am staffing a Discipleship Training School with a focus in Music, Art, Dance, and Film. The DTS runs for 6 months at a time, this school I'm currently staffing has 43 students. Basically YWAM is about mobilizing young people to go out into the nations and spread Gods love through music, art, dance and film! I have a 2 year commitment here - I am doing a Basic Leadership School (BLS). I am here as a volunteer. I love helping young people step into their destiny and passions - to then go out into the world and use their passions to spread Gods love. It's because I'm passionate about love and serving people that I'm here - that's the bottom line. I love to love people, and God has placed me here for such a time as this to love on and serve these young people for 2 years. I'm so passionate about where I am and what I do! I think its so amazing and such a privilege. I am looking for people to come along side me and be passionate with me - I want people to walk along side me as I am on this journey through sponsoring me financially. In three weeks, February 14 - April 3rd I will be leading a team of girls to Germany/Czech Republic. There we will be working with drug addicts, sex trafficking, singing and painting on the streets and in local cafes, loving on homeless people, working in gypsy communities, leading worship, teaching/ministering to young people and in different youth groups, etc. As of right now I still need $2,000 in order to minister in Europe. That is my immediate need. I am also looking for monthly sponsors - being that I am going to be here for another year and a half. I have faith that God will provide! This is what I'm doing - this is my heart. I look forward to you being apart of my journey!

Please email me at aliciagracemcleod@yahoo.com, if you feel led to sponsor me in anyway! Again, my immediate need is $2,000 - in order to minister in Europe for two months. I leave in three weeks!

My skype username is: aliciagrace1 if you would like to talk more about what I'm doing and how you can partner with me!

I'm so passionate about the body of Christ! 1 Corinthians 12:27 says, "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." I think that is such a beautiful verse. Wether you're loving people in America, in Europe, at school, being a mom, wherever you are, I think there is so much power when the body of Christ comes together, when people partner together - believing big things, because we serve a BIG GOD!

2 Corinthians 5:7
For we live by faith, not by sight.

You are not the ocean, you are just a cup.

2011-01-10T00:43:00.019+10:00

I am currently listening to Dance With Me by Jesus Culture, one of my favorite worship songs. I have my headphones in. I'm laying on my stomach on my bed with a pillow under my chin. The past two weeks I slept on the hard ground with only my sleeping bag, so the softness of my mattress takes some getting used to again. My room lights are off, the only light on is my little lamp, the fan is on and my curtains are swaying every so slightly. I absolutely love moments like right now. Moments where all I want to do is write. I feel like I could write a book I have so much to say. The past two weeks I've been on the road with the school. Constantly surrounded by noise and people. I find that in times like that where I don't get my alone quiet moments, my soul can easily fall asleep in a way. For me, its in the quiet still moments that my soul soars, or comes alive. I gain energy when I'm alone. I am so thankful to have quiet now, I'm so thankful my soul can speak and fly. This will probably be a long post, just to let you know. If you want to fly with me as my soul speaks keep reading. I write to process and record but also I write for others. Beauty should never be hidden or kept to one self. I love sharing beauty, the beauty of God. It's all about Him. God has shown me so much beauty and is teaching me so many beautiful things, I can't hold it in, I must share it.

Two weeks ago at the beginning of our road trip God told me to let go of something. To fully give Him this certain something expecting nothing in return. I knew He was saying, "Alicia, drop it. Drop it all. Not just part of it, everything. Trust me." I gave it all to Him. In that choice to let go, I found that there is so much freedom in the free fall. This was just the beginning. From that, my biggest prayer at the start of the road trip was that God would give me a huge revelation that He is enough, that in Him I am complete. I so badly wanted to have a revelation about this. I knew He would be faithful, so I waited in hope. We were on the beach the whole time, so everyday I would be by the water, walking on the sand, in the ocean, I was surrounded by it. It was one morning during the first week that God gave me this revelation, the beginning of it. It was about 8 o'clock in the morning and I was standing on the beach praying and interceding for the town we were in. My feet were in the water, quickly sinking into the sand, the water was splashing on my ankles again and again and again. As I waited on God for what to pray for I got the word stillness. I felt like He was saying to pray for busy people all over the world, pray that they would learn to be still and rest. In that moment of me resting, standing still with my feet in the ocean, God spoke so much! Before I was standing still I was walking, and when you walk on the beach your feet only leave a shallow mark, the water hits you yes but your feet don't sink. When I was standing still, my feet were sinking into the sand and the water was flowing over my feet, covering them completely. This is how it is with the Lord. I felt like God was again confirming the word stillness with that picture, when we are still before Him, when we rest in His presence, only then can we really go deeper into Him and His love. Only then can He saturate our whole being. If we are always walking on the sand and never take time to stop, we won't sink and the water won't cover us completely. So that was the beginning. It was such an awesome morning with God and an incredible time of intercession, I love prayer its so powerful.

A few nights later that same week I was again on the beach spending time with God and just enjoying His presence. I wrote this song.

You are not the ocean
You are just a cup
I'm not looking for you to fill me up
My deepest desire is to dive
It is impossible to do this in your cup
For so long I've thought that I could dive into this cup

I don't need you to find me
I'm not searching for you to see me
I'm already found
Someone already sees me
I'm seen by Him and that is enough

I feel as if I'm a bird that's flown to the top of the highest mountain
Now I see from a new perspective
And from this viewpoint I realize
That the only possible place to dive, truly dive
Is in the ocean

I don't need you to find me
I'm not searching for you to see me
I'm already found
Someone already sees me
I'm seen by Him and that is enough

I know this perspective is a lasting position
I'm at peace
I'm free
You're just a cup
And you're not supposed to fill me up
Ok, that's all for now
The ocean is waiting
The ocean is waiting

I was looking out onto the ocean, the endless ripples that move ever so gracefully. It was nighttime so the sky was dark, the town was sleeping and the stars were awake. The few street lights that were in the distance brought beautiful sparkle to the water before me. I sat there for I can't remember how long, just looking out onto the water. After I wrote that song I was so blown away. It was totally God through me. That right there, that song and what God showed me through it, has been the biggest revelation. The ocean being God. The cup being people. Wow. I saw myself on the sand walking around back and forth as if I was in the desert, searching for cups in different places. In my picture it was like God was standing right there with me and He turns to me and says, "Alicia, look straight ahead, stop walking. Stop searching for cups. I am the ocean. Don't you see? I am more than enough for you! Just like you know there is more water beyond the horizon you see, you know it goes on and on, you cannot fully grasp my love for you, its that big. Here, I have a small boat for just you and I. I want you, all of you. Just come into the ocean." I run without hesitation. He is holding my hand and He leads me to our little boat. All this was being painted in my mind like a movie as I just sat there in silence. Tears filled my eyes, the wind was so strong, my hair was blowing every which way, across my face, everywhere. I was curled up in a little ball on the sand. I opened my eyes and as I looked out at the water and listened to the waves crash, it was as if God was whispering "I love you, Alicia" over and over and over. With every ripple, every wave, the wind that surrounded me, through everything He was shouting "I LOVE YOU ALICIA!!" Probably one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Words can't do it justice.

Back to the song and what God told me to do at the beginning of the week, I have so much peace its insane. I know God holds everything and I am not worried one bit. I am in the boat with God and I am so thankful. I see God on one end of the boat and me on the other end and in the middle of the boat is all this treasure. God is showing me the beauty of Alicia, the treasures in me. I hear Him saying, "Look, look at all that you are, precious one. Look at how I made you. You are so beautiful! You are a treasure." I am loving myself. Not in a selfish way at all, but just loving me. I was thinking earlier tonight even how much I love my name. Alicia. Words are hard to express all of this fully. Thats why I love that Dance With Me song so much, God is my lover. Just Him and I dancing in the boat. I'm so in love with Him. And as I look into His eyes, that is when I see myself the way He sees me. My identity comes from Him and only Him. I rest so secure because I know His gaze never leaves my eyes. I don't have to worry about anything because He is my safe place. His love for me is never-ending. I am so thankful. Those four small words can't even begin to describe how thankful I am. I love that I see everything in pictures, I'm so thankful He gives me pictures, words, revelations, and for providing those breathtaking moments. What a blessing to be 21, living in Australia, completely single, just God and I in our little boat together. Last Spring I prayed that I would be able to travel again and live overseas at least one more time while I am still single, before I get married. I realized before Christmas time that this time in Australia is the answer to that exact prayer! I was blown away! God is so good! He is so faithful! I'm not worried about the married part but I do know that I'm single now living overseas and I'm loving my sweet time with Jesus. Priceless free time with the lover of my soul, time to grow in Him like never before. I know this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've been here almost five months. Man thats hard to believe! I know this time alone with God is so valuable and precious and I couldn't be more thankful. And the biggest revelation above all that He has shown me is this: I am complete in Jesus. Nothing in this world can make me happy, only Jesus can. He is enough. I am complete in Him.

DEEP BREATH.

I know that was long, sweet friends. If your darling eyes made it this far thank you with all of my heart. I pray you are encouraged and uplifted. Find that sweet intimacy with God. Ask for revelations and He will give them to you. He is faithful. Run to the ocean. He has a boat for you too. Your story is your own and mine is my own, but we have one thing in common, we have the same God, the same Daddy, the same Lover.

Thank you for flying with me as my soul spoke. I'm so thankful for eyes and hands to type. Writing like this is so incredible and I never want to stop. God is good. He is faithful. He gets all the glory!!!!!

One more thing, I'm looking to go home in July for my holiday! What a sweet time that will be. Please be praying for cheap tickets.

Team Germany/Czech Republic

2010-12-27T18:23:00.003+10:00

Here is a picture of my outreach team! We leave for Germany February 14th!

From left to right: Taylor Lewis, Niesje Schilperoort, Alicia Perreault, Christie McBride, Hannah Guge.

So happy!

2010-12-14T21:08:00.004+10:00

Hello hello! I hope you had a great Tuesday!!! GOD IS GOOD!

I will post more soon. Grading workbooks right now. Listening to christmas music. This weeks high is 85 degrees. I'm still getting used to hot weather in December. I must say, I do miss Nashville weather! BUT GOD IS STILL GOOOD!!!

Love you guys! I hope you are well and growing in God! Thank you so much for reading my blog. It means a lot.

Airlie Beach Outreach Week

2010-11-30T20:08:00.006+10:00

This past week was our first mini outreach week!!! It was so exciting and went really well! We left as a school (58 of us) on Wednesday, Nov. 17th at about 2:30pm. Our destination was Airlie Beach. The drive was 17 hours long. We took two buses that carried about 25 people and one van - we headed north! We drove 5 hours to Harvey Bay. We arrived in Harvey Bay around dinner time and stayed in an old YWAM house. This house is very small, one level, a few rooms. The boys set up tents outside and the girls crammed in the house side by side on the floors in each room. Talk about an experience. It's like having a family of 58 people. Not even kidding - we made pasta and garlic toast and salad. Used plastic plates and small plastic forks and ate as one big family. After dinner I walked down to the beach. The house is literally one street away from the beach. The moon was bright and there was a light breeze. I walked on the beach for a long time. It was high tide so the water splashed on my feet. I love the beach day or night. I love it at night because there are no lights out, only the moon shining above me and as I looked into the distance I could see a few twinkles on the horizon. I assumed they were light houses for boats or little islands. After my peaceful walk on the shore I walked back to the house and found my sleeping bag. It was on the wooden floor against a brick wall. There were 4 other girls in this 5x11 ft room. I had so much on my mind. Sometimes late late at night I like to just lay there in silence...I like to wait until everyone is asleep - because maybe then I can meet a quiet moment. When you live with 58 people there is never silence.

The morning came quickly and in my mind I think it would fit perfectly next to a morning at the zoo. There is so much to learn when living in community. The loud conversation and pounding feet all around the house woke me up at 6am. You know how when you wake up at your house and right when you open your eyes you're most likely alone. You have time to go to the bathroom alone and wash your face in a bathroom alone. You do all these things before you meet the world or any person for that matter...well in my world that is never possible. Right when I wake up I'm surrounded by people. It can be awesome if you look at that way! Definitely something to adjust to. We packed up at Harvey Bay and left at 8:30ish. Today was the long hall, 12 hours. Again with 58 people all traveling together bathroom breaks happen so often, so every 2 hours or so we would stop and take a break to get coffee and use the toilet. I'm a quiet traveler. I didn't really talk much, I personally like to stare out the window and just be still. Even though I'm still surrounded by people I'm in a car, sitting in a seat. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything - it can be restful. Long story short we arrived in Airlie Beach 12 hours later!

We all thought we would be staying in tents for 10 days but the Airlie Base was so kind and let us stay on their property. Lisa, the Schoolies (I'll explain what this is in a second) Leader for the week was so gracious and let the girl staff stay on the floor in her bedroom! What a blessing!

The outreach was Schoolies. Schoolies in Australia is the few weeks after High School graduation. Basically, parents (not all but most) pay about 145$ for their kid to stay in a hotel for a week on the beach and buy alcohol, party, sleep around, basically be completely free with access to drugs, sex, alcohol. America doesn't have anything like this, but here is Australia its a huge thing this time of year. And remember their season are backwards to ours so its coming now into Summer. Back to Schoolies...so what we did was this: YWAM Brisbane has this amazing thing called the Chai Tent. This tent is huge, like way big. Inside the tent we set up a kitchen area in one corner, with a sink and 3 serving/making drinks tables. In the middle/back was a stage with speakers on either end. In the middle there was carpet laid out, with about 12 small square coffee like tables close to the ground. Each table had 4 cushions surrounding it with a candle in the middle of the table. In the back of the tent near the entrance was a gigantic blow up jumpy strip thing. There were lights and music. In the kitchen we served chai and made slushies. I was in charge of the kitchen along with Niesje, another staff member. I was so happy when I found out I was in charge of the kitchen - I thought it fit perfectly for me...working at Starbucks and all :) I just love that type of thing!

Our daily schedule: Wake up at 10am. Breakfast till 10:30. Shower run at 11. Lunch at 1pm. Staff meeting at 2pm. I was in charge of instructing the house cleaning jobs for the team of students at the house each day from 3-5pm. Dinner was at 5:30. Everyone who had roles at the tent left at 6pm. We had worship and a short message at the tent (just us as a school) from 6:30-7:45. The 15 minutes before 8 o'clock the different teams in the tent prayed together and then at 8 o'clock we opened the tent! The tent was open from 8-1am every single night.

I hope that makes sense what Schoolies is and what the Chai Tent looks like. I feel like I'm typing so much...but I really want to fill you in on my outreach week. There are heaps of pictures below - I really try to balance my writing and pictures...I'm trying my best!!

Ok so back to explaining...the chai tent was set up on the beach. The students were split up into different teams for the week. The different things they would be doing were Prayer and Worship (for the 10 days we were there we had 24/7 hour prayer and worship in the prayer room downstairs. Anna and Jess, girls on my staff team, were in charge of this) then there was the kitchen area in the tent, 'on the floor' is what we called it, this is the carpet and table section of the tent. Making conversation with the schoolies that comes in, then there is night security, 4 guys that would stay overnight in the tent to watch it, and day security, 4 girls that would watch the tent during the day. Soooo as you can see...many different things going on - super full schedule. That's outreach weeks for ya! But sooo awesome at the same time. Its really incredible what all can be done in just 10 days.

I could go on for ages but I don't think that would be too fun to read. I hope that gives you a good sense of what happened, the different roles, and just an overall picture of our mini outreach week to airlie beach!

For me it was really incredible. Spiritually there was HEAPS of warfare. We were definitely working in a dark place. But God made it so clear that our tent, us, was the LIGHT on the beach! Each night as I stood behind the tables making/serving chai and slushies, I was so amazing by the people that came up. There were thousands of kinds on the beach. Heaps and heaps of young people walking in drunk, wearing close to nothing, you could see the darkness in their eyes...it was heart breaking. After the first night I had such a heart for these kids. I was so passionate about the kitchen each night.

Michael. Such an amazing driver :)

17 hour car ride!

Double rainbow!!!

The YWAM Airlie base we were staying at.

My precious family of 50. I love them all to pieces.

MORE PICTURES TO COME. I must go to bed now...

To: Daddy

2010-11-11T22:49:00.001+10:00

Dear Pops

I miss you so much right now. Drinking spiced tea and thinking of you. I miss your hugs. You're the best. I'm so thankful for you.

xoxo

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS

2010-11-11T12:58:00.003+10:00

My song for this season. God has completely wrecked my heart with His love!!!!! Listen to this song! GODS LOVE IS ENOUGH! Let your spirit release, let go, jump, free fall INTO THE ARMS OF GOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJNYXzzfjvQ

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this
Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You
(x2)

Photos!

2010-11-08T22:51:00.023+10:00

Thank you Abba for weekends! My days off its just me and the ocean...words can't really describe these photos. They are simply breathtaking. This is the Gold Coast, more specifically Rainbow beach. The eighth picture down - the one picture where you see the city on the horizon..that's Surfers Paradise. From where I was standing, all the way around to Surfers Paradise is the Gold Coast. Rainbow beach is my favorite. I can't believe this is my home. God is so good!

Hope you enjoyed those. Gives you an idea of where I live :)

Please pray

2010-11-05T22:28:00.004+10:00

Prayer is real and powerful! I need your prayers. If you don't know this, I am here with YWAM as a volunteer. God has called me to this place. I know God doesn't call us somewhere, open a door, then close it halfway! He will complete the work He has started.

I need financial sponsors! Please pray for financial provision. I've been asking Abba, "Lord what is your financial plan for my life?" When I'm in the secret place with Him, He gives me so much peace. I don't know where the money will come from but I hear Him say so clearly, "Who am I, Alicia? Who am I? I will provide. It will come. Do you trust me?" He is the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath to everyone. Isaiah 42 And for right now He has laid this on my heart to ask for sponsorship. So I'm sharing my heart and doing what Abba tells me to do. Please pray. Even if that's all you can do, prayer is powerful! I know prayers go in the dwelling place with God. If Abba leads you to sponsor me financially I will be eternally grateful! I have a $2,000 outreach fee due on November 17. That is the first huge deadline. Pray pray!

Please contact me if Abba leads you in anyway. If He leads you to sponsor me in anyway you can mail a check to the address on the left hand side column.

Don't hesitate to email me with questions, etc!

May Abba bless you in big ways!

Abba

2010-11-02T13:14:00.002+10:00

Wow. I don't know where to begin. God has really got my attention. I know He wants all of me. He's showing me that He is my Abba. I belong to Him. I know that anything is possible with Him. Even though I can't really understand much of what's going on in my life right now, He understands. He holds it all. He holds the dreams I haven't dreamed yet. He holds all the desires of my heart. He holds me. And He wants me to abide in Him. I can't put into words how precious the secret place with Him is. It's in this secret place that I find perfect peace. In this secret place with Abba, when I look to Him with both eyes wide open and my heart searching...I find Alicia. I find who I really am. Dear self, die. I want to live for Abba. Dear self, I want to love like God. "Who am I?" God says to me. You are God, You hold the universe. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Your ways are higher than my ways. Nothing is an accident. "Alicia I want you to fly with me. Keep your focus on me." I can't get enough of His presence. I am my own person. I am Alicia. I know I am special. I know I was created with purpose. These are things that Abba tells me in the secret place with Him. My heart is so overflowing with Him I couldn't help but write about it. I'm so excited about what Abba has in store. God has great things in store, great things.

You should listen to the video below. Let God's love wreck your heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GeVf1XQOPg&feature=related

Mrs. Audrey

2010-10-22T18:07:00.005+10:00

It was about 5:30 pm and I decided to go for a walk with Abba. At this time of day the breeze is cool and the sun is down. It's the perfect time of day to walk. I headed down our street and took the first left. I like to go sit at this one bench at the end of the street to just pray and look at the moon and gorgeous clouds. I had my ipod in and Hillsong 'You' was playing. I was enjoying Daddy's Presence and His perfect love found in the wind that surrounded me. I found myself smiling up at the rich blanket of blue, so thankful for His perfect peace. I was almost at the bench and to my right across the street I see this elderly woman with a walker. She had a blue dress on and was walking extremely slow. Each step was a lot of work. She was walking on the grass away from the sidewalk and she was looking at the flowers in the yard she was near. I immediately thought, "Ooh, I want to go talk to her." I have such a passion for elderly people. They are so dear to my heart. So I sit down and kept thinking how I wanted to go say hi. In that moment as I was watching her walk directly across the street from my bench, the Lord said to my heart, "Go talk to her." I go, "But what do I say?" and He goes, "I'll give you the words." So I sit there for about ten more seconds. I stand up and cross the street in faith. There were no cars so I peacefully cross with a smile. At this time I had taken my ipod out of my ears and wrapped the cords in a bundle. As I'm nearing the sidewalk she sees me and raises her precious face and says, "Well hello darling." She stands still and I go, "Hiii! I live just around the corner up the road, and I wanted to say hello. I'm Alicia." She goes, "Aww, well I'm Audrey." I said, "I was just walking and saw you and wanted to come say hi." She goes, "Well I'm glad you did!" With the biggest smile on her face she continues to talk. "Yes I love walking at this time of day, the sun is down so its nice and cool for me. I try to walk everyday or else...well I can't, you know I have to keep moving...because I'm old..and I've had trouble recently crossing over drains so I have to walk on the grass part. And you know you'll see a lot of us kind out at this time of day..you know, old people like me. In fact, there's a nursing home just there (and she points across the street directly behind the bench I sit at - which I think is a total God thing because I love elderly people so much, and the fact that I live just a street away...wow. Daddy is so incredible) she continues...that's a nursing home, the red building there. So you could go over there anytime and meet people or you'll see them out walking just here - we all need love. I hope I never get in there (She smiles real big)" I listen and smile, my eyes are wide, I feel so happy I could cry at this point, my face is lit up and my heart feels like its overflowing with sooo much joy...and I say "Aww yea, wow thats amazing. I'd love to come see you and go for walks together. Could we walk together?..and yes I enjoy this time of the day as well. Walking is such a lovely thing for me. Its my time alone." She then says, "Why yes of course we can dear...So did you just get off work or something, what do you do here?" I said, "Oh no, have you heard of YWAM just up the road a bit?" She goes, "Why yes, I certainly have. I am familiar with those lovely people. You know, I am a christian myself, yes I love Jesus...and I think its amazing work you do up there." I go, "Wow, yay...well yes, I am a leader over there. I've been here for just two months and this is going to be my home for a while...however long God wants me here...so I love meeting people in the neighborhood...making this feel more like home. I know this is exactly where God wants me to be...and in that I find peace." She goes, "That's good dear, thats good. Where are you from dear?" I go, "I'm from Tennessee." She goes, "Oooh American, how lovely." Chuckles a bit. She goes, "So have you made good friends where you are?" I go, "Yes I have. There are over 50 people that live at the base so it can be hard to find alone time. That's why I walk, because its just me and God. His presence is amazing. So yes, relationships are still forming slowly, and yea I just love walking with my ipod up and down this bit." We continued to talk for a while and I found out that the house she was walking in front of was hers. I will take pictures...She lives there with her two granddaughters. They work from 6 am-6 pm so she's alone all day. She has been living there in that little darling blue house with flowers surrounding it for 30 years. She says walking helps her day, it gets her out of the house. She went on and on about how great the Holy Spirit is for her and how she is in her house all the time by herself, so she's alone but not lonely, do you know what I mean? I agreed with her and we just talked about how amazing God is. She walks at 4 or 5 pm every day. I told her I wanted to see her again and how it made my day to meet her. I said, "I'm so glad I came to say hi." She goes, "Me too, dear. Me too. And you are welcome in my home at anytime if you want to just rest or sit in my garden here. I sit in that room just there, (she pointed to the house), just go knock on that window and I will know its you. And you can come in." I wanted to cry! God is sooooo good!!!!! What an incredible moment. Talk about a divine appointment. I wish you could meet her she was so precious. So yes! I'm going to see her next week! And hopefully every week. We are going to go walking together. She said she would love company. I can't wait to see her again - God is so good and He always provides. What a blessing - Thank you Abba for Mrs. Audrey. All glory to you Daddy.

Thankful

2010-10-19T20:11:00.013+10:00

Where to begin...

I'm listening to Angus & Julia Stone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMUJpdj4fV8&feature=related
I love this song so much. You should listen to it!

My current moment is extremely lovely. I'm sitting at my night stand/desk in a green chair. My four windows are wide open - a cool breeze is dancing in across my face and filling up my room. My floor is clean and my clothes are folded nicely. My little lamp is on and the big light is off. My Jesus Calling is to the right of my computer next to my cup of tea. The pages are moving up and down ever so delicately due to the wind and my ceiling fan. If I close my eyes its as if its only me, the wind, Daddy, and my music. The strings to the blinds are swaying. The water in my water bottle is completely still. My tea cup however is extremely hot - tonight I'm sipping green tea with peach. It's been my favorite this week. If I look up into the deep black sky out my window I can't see any stars - but I know they are shining bright beyond my lamp. I feel like this is the first time I've sat down all day. As I sit and process the days events, my heart is so thankful. Daddy is so incredibly good. I'm thankful for this moment. I'm thankful for the wind. I'm thankful for a roof over my head. I'm thankful for tea and music. I'm thankful for a computer. I'm thankful for functioning hands to type these words. I'm thankful for God's never-ending love. I'm thankful I serve a God who is constant and unchanging.

How am I doing? I'm really good. Daddy reminds me daily that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. This afternoon the staff team had a crazy amazing powerful intense worship/prayer time. So much freedom in His presence! I'm learning to rest in Daddy's Presence more and more and more and more! I may be weak but I know my Daddy is strong enough to hold me tight - and that makes everything okay. It just takes me focusing on Him completely and receiving His perfect love. The same God that holds the heavens holds me, and you. Why should I doubt for one second that He can't hold me together? I'm learning that everything points back to God. It's all about Him. It's all about Him. IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!

I hope you are finding peace, as always - I don't know who reads my blog but if you do thank you from the bottom of my heart - it truly means the world. Writing brings me so much peace - I know my posts are all over the place and sometimes long but I try to write from my heart and share what God is doing - It really is all about Him. I hope you are encouraged precious ones!

I send a big hug across the stars and over the moon! Speaking of the moon, if you see it say hello - We may see different stars since I'm on the other side of the world (depending on where you are) - but we all see the same moon.

Music I've been listening to this week...sorry it's not a link or video on here, I tried to make it that way but it wouldn't work for some reason. You can just copy and paste it :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfInaw3WdMU
Rick Pino 'Your Love Is Like'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eefVgc_qhxg&feature=related
Angus & Julia Stone 'For You'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WaVv874DfE
Missy Higgins 'Where I Stood'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNy8llTLvuA&ob=av2e
Mumford & Sons 'The Cave'

Insly to my incredible family.

Glory to God.

Living a life of influence

2010-10-05T18:08:00.014+10:00

If you know anything about me you know that honesty is important to me. And if you don't know that, well now you do. I won't sit here and tell you everything is jolly when I'm actually being stretched more than I've ever been. I try to be real. I'm just me, that's all I can be. I embrace where I am and what comes to me, and I try to run to God with everything I have. At the end of the day, it's not about how great I can be or what I'm doing. It's about what God's doing in my life, its all about Him.

My darling Snickerdoodle. Has so much love to give :)

The beautiful sky from my window

To be honest, the past few days have been really hard. If you see the first picture of my night stand - if I'm learning anything I am learning things about myself. I love organization. Keeping things tidy and clean is important to me. (Just a little thing about me) So as you can see, I try to keep my night stand somewhat organized. If you notice the purple container on the blue felt square, the one with tick-tacks? Do you see it? It's two simple objects that describe how I'm feeling right now and how I see God. In all honestly, I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like I'm in a million pieces - like the tick-tacks scattered everywhere. Completely still. They can't pick themselves up. They just rest in the container. The container represents God. He is holding me together. When God gave me that picture, those objects, He also gave me a verse. 'Micah 7:7,8 As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemies! I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.' I love that verse. You may be thinking, woah she feels like she's falling apart. Man, that's hard. She must be having a great time because she's in Australia? Or because she's in YWAM. Yes, I'm apart of YWAM living in Australia. But YWAM is just a system. The system isn't the ultimate deal. I'm living life where God wants me to live right now in this season but ultimately its about how I live my life, not about where I am. Let me tell you dear friends, it has nothing to do with where you are in the world or what you're apart of - where you are and what you're apart of won't make you happy. God is the foundation for joy, peace, love, strength... on and on. It's found in Him - at the end of the day its about your heart. Its about what God's trying to say to you. What is He speaking to you? What is His heart for you? Are you running to Him with all that you have? Are you being real about what you're going through and where you are? These are all questions I'm currently asking myself. Right now even. Maybe you feel like you're falling apart too, I don't have answers because I'm in that same place - the only answer I have is to run to God and seek His face. Ask Him hard questions, don't be afraid to really tell Him how you feel. Maybe you're reading this and you feel a bit weird as you're reading. Maybe you didn't expect this or you aren't used to people throwing out how they are really doing. I find beauty in being real about you're feeling and how you're doing. Yes it may be hard and uncomfortable but I'd rather be real with people and tell you that man, I don't have it all together, but let me tell you who is Perfect, let me tell you about the most amazing person that holds me together and loves me completely, thats JESUS. God's love is perfect. At the end of the day its about my God - and how is my life influencing those around me? How is God shining through my life? Can people see His love? Are you living a life of influence? Whether you're in a University, working, you have a job or don't have a job, maybe you're still in high school, you live at home or away from home, you're in America or outside the States - wherever you are...are you living a life that influences the people around you? Are you being real with how you're feeling? Do you know that you can't carry everything on your own? You are supposed to be weak - so God can be strong. Man I feel like I just wrote a novel. Sorry this is so long, but then again I'm not sorry because I love being real! So I don't have to apologize for that! I realize its not the most fun thing to read a super long blog - but if you are reading this I pray God speaks to you. He is the only good thing in me. And in all honesty as I've shared, that's what I'm learning and that's how I'm doing.

One more thing that's on my mind...
God is sovereign, and has a much bigger picture than I can see. I may feel like I'm falling apart and I'm learning that that's okay. The enemy wants me to believe that I have to act like I'm all put together and have everything figured out. That I should just cover up the things I'm feeling and not be real. But no, God wants me to embrace where I am and know that He is holding me. And through this time, I am growing closer to Him. Which is the ultimate goal. What is God teaching you? Let me know how you're doing? I would love to know what God is doing in your life! If not on a comment, shoot me an email :)

The DTS students arrive in about 3 weeks. I can't believe it! This week is the last week of Basic Leadership School intake phase. Next week we start DTS school prep! Woohoo!

Oh and ps. - no matter what you're going through, be sure to care for yourself. Make sure you look after you. Whether you're falling apart or having the best day of your life. Do something that does make you smile. And remind yourself constantly that God has a much bigger picture than what you can see.

Beautiful day with Jesus

2010-09-27T21:00:00.051+10:00

God is soooo good! His love is perfect. Here are a few pictures from Sunday, my day off :)

The weather was lovely. Not too hot, not too cold. The breeze was nice too.

My day started off with some Starbucks. First time treating myself to a drink! Made me miss home so much.

I went to the bookstore and rested there for a bit.

Then I stopped by my favorite little place called The Tea Centre. Its one of the most cozy places to read and write, just to rest and be still, I can't describe in words just how amazing the tea smells are but they are incredible!

Hungry Jacks = Burger King

As I was walking towards the river I passed this beautiful tree tunnel. I love the bush here.

There are so many beautiful buildings.

And the trees are HUGE.

I can't get over the beauty of Brissy. There are incredible modern buildings with color and right next to it there's gorgeous old aged buildings with unique design. Amazing.

I took this while I was walking over the bridge to South Bank.

There are heaps of places where I can find peace and relaxation. Fountains and gardens with grass and benches. Such a blessing.

Cute lego men climbing on this art building.

I spent the day barefoot. So freeing.

Part of South Bank (South Brissy) There's a man made beach in the middle of the city, with fountains and pools.

So many cute kids playing in the water.

JAMES!!!

I sat in a japanese restaurant for a little bit...

This is how they serve water everywhere :)

As you leave South Bank to go back into the city there's this amazingly wonderful ferris wheel. Gorgeous with all the lights shining.

This fresh grassy area right beside the water looking to the city is probably one of the most soothing places. I love Brissy so much. I'll have to take a video sometime when I'm running at night, but its so quiet and peaceful. Yes you can hear cars and such, but there's a stillness about it thats so calming. No horns, no loud noises. Super quiet. And the people are so friendly too, I feel super safe in the city at all times. Even at night when I run, its really safe. There are so many runners out. I love praying at night time.

Sitting on the grass by the water praying over Brissy. (Left view)

(Right view)

Near the grassy patch is a bridge that runs along the water, this is that view. This is where I run, along this long bridge walk thing...the next picture shows the path.

This is the path. I run along here...

I'm headed up to that white shining bridge that goes into the city, right now (when taking this picture), I'm on the South Bank side of Brissy.

I run up a circular ramp leading up to the bridge, cross the bridge...you'd think it'd be loud and noisy at night right now, but its actually so quiet. One of the most breathtaking places I've ever been to. God is so good!!

Stretch break/water break on the bridge.

If I needed help or assistance at anytime I press that button and someone will come.

Almost into the city. From there I run to the train station. (See the shining small half circle on the right side? That's the ferris wheel!)

I made it safely to the train station. Hopped on the train and found a cozy cushioned seat. It was a short, quiet ride home, as you can see its super empty. Felt so good to sit down.

Then it was home sweet home :)

That was my Sunday. Now you have a glimpse into what a day off for me looks like. I hope you understood each picture caption, I tried to make them as clear as possible so you could really understand everything, and get a better overall picture of where I'm living :) God is so incredible! Glory to HIM!!

I miss my baby sister

2010-09-23T23:42:00.005+10:00

Love you to pieces Bre. I'm listening to our songs right now. MUAH

...to the rest of my amazing family, miss you heaps. kisses to all :) insly

Tea all day

2010-09-22T17:37:00.010+10:00

A rainy afternoon here in Brisbane :) It's been a great day today. It's all about attitude and perspective. I spent a few hours this afternoon reading, writing, planning, and listening to some powerful music with Jesus as the rain fell on my windowsill. Oh, and I can't forget the tea! The most important part!

Here in Australia we have tea all day long. Its so lovely. You should go get you a cup. Its simple yet amazing! I hope you're having a wonderful day wherever you are.

Having Peripheral Vision

2010-09-21T12:49:00.004+10:00

Today is the first day of my Basic Leadership Training (BLS). It's lunch time right now. I had to escape to my room to just write and pray.

I feel like I'm standing in front of the highest mountain I've ever seen in my entire life, and in the next two years I am going to have to climb it. Starting with these next three weeks, starting today. The first steps seem to be the hardest. We have class in this extremely small room with very low ceilings. There are twelve people plus the few teachers. Eleven of them have done their Discipleship Training School (DTS) here in Brisbane, and eight of them have already been doing their BLS for a full year. They are entering their second DTS that they will be staffing. (In the full BLS commitment, we are required to staff two DTS schools). This morning when one of the leaders was passing out the handout of the schedule for the next three weeks and explaining who the speakers will be, etc. There was a huge eruption of laughter and talking amongst the second year BLS people as Gwendy (the leader) read the schedule. I was sitting in the back of the room against the wall. My eyes were frozen at the floor in front of me. I felt so intimidated. I thought to myself, "Alicia, what am I doing here?? How did I even end up here?" I felt so out of place. Surrounded by people with three years of walking life together and connection, experience, true relationships, and having experienced all this stuff last year this time. Then there is me. With no experience what so ever, I've been here for only three weeks so my level of connection within the people is not strong by any means. I don't have that one person who I feel close to or completely comfortable around. Family isn't going to come to me, my friends aren't going to come here to Australia and be by my side. I'm having to swallow and trust God more than ever that in time relationships will grow and I will feel connected. I have to give it time. Time time time. Sometimes I wish there was a fast forward button in life. Also just to let you know my staff team (the MAD Staff) are all apart of the BLS. There are nine MAD staff, and three Frontiers staff.
So here I am standing in front of this huge mountain. I don't know how I'm going to climb it, I don't know anything at this point. I feel like I've been treading water for the past three weeks - constantly surrounded by people having only surface level conversations. I so badly want to let my body fall into the water and give my legs and arms a break. (Meaning give my mind heart and soul a break) I thrive in deep conversations/relationships. In the midst of all of this that I'm sharing, the intimidation, the mountain in front of me, the lack of real deep connection that can only be built through time and experience, on and on and on and on, the constant treading in water feeling, ALL OF IT - I KNOW THAT GOD HAS CALLED ME HERE. I know that without a doubt I am supposed to be here for such a time as this. Right now that is the only thing I am really holding on to. "GOD HAS CALLED ME HERE. GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE."

While I was sitting there at my desk, in my chair, surrounded by so much noise and laughter from others, sitting very still trying to stay focused and to breathe deeply, God gave me a picture and I could hear Him whispering to my soul...Even now the picture is so clear. I got this picture of me laying on my face on the beach. My face smashed into the sand. I was having trouble breathing. I then hear the Lord say "stand up my beloved." I take His hand and stand up. He guides me to this ladder that rests only two feet away from where I was laying on the beach. Together we walk up this enormous ladder, I'm talking huge! Like higher than any ladder you've ever seen. At the top of this ladder there is a platform. The floor of this platform is covered in flower petals and music is playing louder than you can imagine. The music seems to reach as high as the blue sky above, so high the stars seem to sing along and the ocean waves clap their hands. There is perfect peace and I can see the ocean in front of me, the horizon line stretching on for what seems like forever, the clouds, the birds, the trees, the blanket of blue that stretches to the galaxies upon galaxies.
That's the picture I got when I was sitting in the room. God wants not just me, but ALL OF US, to climb up the ladder and GAIN HIS PERSPECTIVE. Not to bury our faces in the sand and focus on what's directly in front of us or whatever your problem may be. No! Get over yourself, its not about you! "Alicia, its not about you at all! Get over yourself! God has called you here and wants to use you. If God has called me here then I have to know and believe in my heart that He will carry me through this ENTIRE PROCESS. Beginning to end. Easy to hard. Joy to tears. No connection to connection. Feeling seen to feeling unseen. So on and so forth.." Have a peripheral vision, global perspective, keeping a perspective with the end goal in mind. For me, it's being aware that God is training me in LEADERSHIP. Not only to lead these Discipleship Training Schools for the next 2 years, but to use what I learn and apply it to rest of my life. This is my learning ground. It's so important to keep that BIG PERSPECTIVE: Why am I here? Because God has called me here.

That's me processing my morning BLS session! Yeah! I want to stand on the platform with Jesus and hold on to the peripheral vision, big picture thinking - each day it's a choice, every moment I must choose. Choose to trust that God is big enough and holds everything. It sure isn't easy and these first few weeks are going to be a challenge. But I am determined to hold on to THE TRUTH OF WHO GOD IS! I am being stretched in ways I can't express, and I'm learning things I can't explain in words.

A verse that comes to mind right now is the verse in James 1
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Needle and Thread

2010-09-18T16:05:00.012+10:00

Today has been such a lovely day. We had teaching this morning until noon. My duties for the rest of the day are lunch and dinner clean up. Such a blessing to have some free time. It has been a full week. So wonderful, just super full. I decided to make hoot hoots in my room! I made myself some hot tea, opened all the windows in my room so the breeze could dance all around me. I organized all of my materials, closed my door, and put my ipod in. Sewing with needle and thread is such a simple thing - it brings me so much peace. I'm learning that its so important to take care of YOU. No matter what you're doing in life, or what your day holds - its so important to set aside a few minutes each day for you. What brings you peace? Find that something, and do it. Let yourself be still and breathe. Ten minutes filled with stillness and peace can make such a difference in your day!

Love love love!

Day 19

2010-09-14T20:25:00.011+10:00

I have some downtime this evening and thought I would fill you in on how I'm goin! I can't believe I've been here only two and a half weeks. It feels like two months. I don't think I've ever been more stretched in my entire life in such a short amount of time. Stretched in a good way - God is doing unreal things! He is teaching me so much about freedom. Choosing freedom.

I'm over jet lag at this point, although sometimes I find myself a bit tired between 4 - 7pm. Back home that's the middle of the night. It's hard to find peace and quiet here on the base. Before coming to Australia, my life was so isolated. Not on purpose, but just because of my summer schedule. I worked and came home, went for runs and visited a few friends here and there. Most of the time I spent my days alone. Me in the car alone 98% of the time. Especially at night this past summer, I would stay up and paint or make hoots, or just spend time with the Lord. Here I'm with people 98% of the time. Saying its been a change would not be doing it justice. Words can't really express how drastic of a change its been for me. But through the change God is teaching me so much. He's showed me that for the past 6 months or so my heart has been so hard. I get a picture of huge cement walls surrounding my heart. Just within the last 5 days, God has told me to take those walls down. To let people into my heart, to be real, to choose freedom in Him. He's opened my eyes in so many ways. I used to think that my closed heart was a safe place. God has shown me that its the exact opposite. We were created for relationships. And when I close my heart that is when the enemy streams darkness in. Now having alone time and closing your heart to people are two totally different things. I still cherish my silent moments, but I'm learning to take down the walls of my heart and let people in. Because when I do, light comes in, and the enemy can no longer feed darkness behind my closed walls. Its a beautiful thing to experience. I am so much more free to be myself. So that's what I've been processing the past 5 days or so. That's what God is teaching me and its so incredible. "CHOOSE FREEDOM" has become my daily saying. You can never over say truth, and I'm finding more and more that words have so much power!! Every morning when I wake up I speak truth to myself. I actually speak out loud these series of verses and sentences. All in all it takes me about 10 minutes but every morning before I say anything, I speak truth. Words have power!

Right now its 8:39pm on Tuesday. I am sitting on the floor of my room. All of the windows are open and the cool breeze is so refreshing. I just cleaned so it smells super nice. I think I'm going to go down into the kitchen and get some Milo. Milo is one of my favorite drinks. It's a chocolate/malt drink that you can either have cold or hot. It's powder, then you put a dab of sugar in it, then add milk - I microwave mine. It has great vitamins and its so tasty.

Some words I have picked up are "Cheers. No worries. Heaps" I love Australia so much. I am so thankful to be here. This is just the beginning!

Prayer points for this week:

-Peace of mind
-Unity within my team would continue to grow
-Continuing to choose freedom in Jesus
-That God would prepare my mind and heart for the students coming (They arrive in 5 weeks)

I love you!

My new home

2010-09-14T00:12:00.027+10:00

This is where I'm living :)

Near the front of the house

Beautiful tree at the bottom of the front staircase

Staircase to the front of the house

This is right outside the hallway to my bedroom

Same view when you're walking up the stairs to my room. Side open porch area

Staircase leading to the backyard

Backyard with trampoline, rope swing, and benches

Workout area on the first level

Pool tables!

There are soo many ant beds everywhere. Filled with green ants that will bite you.

Back driveway area, or part of it at least. Beautiful trees everywhere!

Back/Side of the house, one part of it

This is the sidewalk as I'm leaving the house to walk to the store, train station, parks, coffee shops, market, etc.

This is my lovely neighborhood (below pictures). Notice the adorable mailboxes and gorgeous trees! Each house is so unique and precious.

Look at how narrow the sidewalk is! The cars drive super fast you feel like you're going to get run over or blown into the wind. This is the sidewalk on the other side of the house, if you follow this way it takes you up to this cemetery on a hill that looks over the entire city.

At the top of the hill. This is the oldest church in Brisbane that is still being used. It's so beautiful.

That's Billy :) He's awesome. This was a favorite day. There are benches up on the hill so its a perfect get away.

This week I will be recording a new vlog too! So be on the lookout for that. I hope you guys are doing well!

Big hug,
Alicia

Video Log 2

2010-09-05T11:15:00.001+10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v6Z6IxDZS0

Video Log 1

2010-09-02T23:13:00.007+10:00

I'm going to start doing video logs so you can see and hear where I am and what I'm doing on a regular basis. The following link is my first Vlog!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2O3dDPWoR8

Pictures should come soon I haven't forgot. This week with TAA is just so busy, sorry! Love you guys!

TAA (Training and Assessment) Day 1

2010-08-31T22:21:00.004+10:00

Today was the first day of TAA (Training and Assessment) Basically TAA is a two week teaching series for us staff - teaching us how to assess and mentor our students. How to lead small groups, intersession, on and on. There is so much beyond that but basically teaching how to assess our students. My mind is so full in this moment. Teaching was from 9am this morning 12:30. Then we had a lunch break and met back from 2-4:30pm. Then met again after dinner 6:30-7:30. The teaching is extremely intense and involves so much paperwork. My mind feels like a huge pool of water, and all of the information like a bunch of marbles being thrown into the pool. Complete chaos. Information overload. But all I can do is one step at a time. I am thankful to have a group of other staff who are all in this same boat with me. So the next 2 weeks will be TAA. Then after that will be a seminar of support raising in missions. That will last for 1 week. Then we start the BLS (Basic Leadership School). That may not make sense to anyone but that's an overview.

I am learning so much its crazy. Five days in YWAM is like three weeks in the real world. I'm learning to admit my weakness. Which I am very weak! I admit! It's in my weakness that God teaches me and gives me strength and I grow more then ever. I know right now I'm not supposed to know everything, or will I ever know everything - but its a learning process with the Lord. During teaching today we watching this amazing video called "The Bottom Line" - Basically it talked about how LOVE is the bottom line of the gospel.

1 John 3:11 This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Loving well.

It was so profound and so good for my heart to hear. It made me ask myself, "Am I truly loving people from my heart?" "Am I doing everything out of love?" It left me really humbled and wanting to be selfless. It made me realize just how selfish I am. And its so true, love is the bottom line. And when it comes to staffing and being a leader, beyond the teaching of the school or anything that goes on during the DTS (Discipleship Training School), my biggest prayer and desire is that the students of this upcoming school feel love. I pray that they remember LOVE, and feeling loved. And of course I'm not perfect and will make millions of mistakes, and ultimately its Jesus in me. It's His love through my soul that reaches people around me. It's choosing that love, choosing love over fear. And I pray they know that love truly is the bottom line. Just like it says in 1 John, everyone who loves has been born of God and KNOWS GOD.

1 John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

John 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Such truth! Love love love! So that was Day 1 of TAA. I promise to have pictures up soon! I plan to have many here in the next coming days. So look for them!

Big day tomorrow, I must get some sleep.

First four days in Australia

2010-08-30T17:15:00.007+10:00

"No set of circumstances could ever isolate you from My loving Presence." -Jesus Calling

I finally have a few minutes to write down my thoughts. The past four days have been a bit of a blur. I arrived here in Brisbane Friday morning and its Monday evening right now. My travel was super long to say the least. A total of 22 hours in the air plus my layovers. I only slept about one hour on my flight from LA to Auckland. Even that was just my eyes resting. I have never been able to sleep on planes. It was actually really great in the midst of all the exhaustion, I got to pray a lot and spend some great time with Jesus as I flew over the Pacific.

When I arrived here at the base in Brisbane I found myself smiling constantly and meeting so many new people. I honestly felt like I was in a dream. Everyone is so loving and super sweet. But it was very overwhelming, very overwhelming. I am still adjusting, and probably will be for several weeks. The birds are very different here. They sound like monkeys! Every morning they wake me up. But they are so beautiful and full of so much color. The season is ending winter right now so that's very different. It's about 60 degrees F right now and at night or whenever the sun goes down it gets colder. Cold enough to wear a jacket and warm socks. I like bundling up though so its nice. The most different thing would probably have to be being in an environment where nobody knows me. Yes people know I'm Alicia from Tennessee, but that's about it. It takes time to really know someones soul. I have felt extremely alone at times but in the midst of that lonely feeling, humanly speaking, I have felt so close to Jesus. He knows me perfectly! I know I am needed here at this base and in that I find peace. Its a beautiful thing to experience with the Lord - when no one, literally no other person knows really who you are, and you have to tell your heart and know that Jesus does, and just rest in that. Rest that He is all that I need. He always has and always will.

I live in a room with two other Australian girls. My room is apart of a huge open house. I will take pictures soon and show you what I mean. Australian houses don't have heat or air so the windows are usually open during the day and closed at night obviously. If they aren't closed animals will come in. So all throughout the day doors are left open, windows are always open no matter what. Its so breezy. The air is very clear and crisp here. The stars are breathtaking at night. Last night I went for a run around the neighborhood, and ended up walking up our street to a graveyard. At the top of the graveyard I could see all of Brisbane. It was so peaceful. Probably the quietest place I've found is up on that hill. Bad idea to go running at night on the sidewalk though, because later that night I found a spider in my running pants. Most spiders here is Australia are poisonous. And there are so many spiderwebs on the sidewalks apparently. So I think I will just stick to the treadmill here on base. We have a mini gym downstairs. I will take photos of that as well.

I know that's a lot of information and it probably sounds really unorganized. Forgive me. My mind is racing at the moment yet not thinking at all. I really wanted to write something down though, so you guys could know how I'm doing! That's part of what's been going on. Tomorrow we start TAA (Training And Assessment) The schedule starts tomorrow! I will be busy busy, but a good busy. I can't wait to see what God does, and He's already done tons! There is so much connection between all of us 12 staff. I already feel like family with all of them. God is soo good.

And under every feeling I am having, or any thought, there is a peace. I know I am supposed to be here. I know God has called me here for such a time as this.

I will write again soon. Love you guys.

Leap of Faith

2010-07-23T05:29:00.008+10:00

I worked the night shift at Starbucks last night. I served about four cups of coffee. I had so much time to clean and be quiet. In that time God spoke to me. It was so amazing and real. Let me tell you about it.

I was thinking about how I'm leaving in four weeks. My life is going to drastically change. I was frozen in that thought for sometime, then it was like the Lord just started talking to me in the silence of the coffee shop. I was scrubbing dishes with bleach and the hot water was running. He was saying, "My dear Alicia, a few months ago you talked to Me and you asked what I wanted for your life. You asked where I wanted you to go, and what I wanted you to do. I have put a blindfold over your eyes. I've taken you, picked you up, and led you up this hill. You don't know what you're going to see, or where exactly you're going. But I told you that what I have for you is great and only for you. I told you you're going to fly with Me. I've told you to trust me because on your own you don't have wings to fly, you don't have the strength to even stand. You have had times of doubt. How can I fly if I have nothing? You pray for financial provision but you're still waiting for me to come through. If I gave it all to you now, you would have no reason to trust me. Trust me, beloved. Trust me. In four weeks you're going to be at the top of the hill. I'm not going to take the blindfold off, I want to see if you can trust me when I say "Ok, now, jump forward and reach out in front of you." You are on the edge of a cliff and feel alone at times. Little do you know that I am standing directly behind you. I AM YOUR WINGS. Believe. I will hold you."

Right then and there at the sink I froze. I let my hands run under the water to rinse off the soap. I walked back to the freezer and just stood there with my eyes closed for about 2 minutes. I saw so clearly God leading me up this big hill, at times carrying me in His arms. Once we get to the top of the hill, I saw myself try to stand up still holding Jesus' hands. My blindfold is still on. I feel Jesus' warm hand in mine. He hugs me and I hear His heartbeat. I know I am safe. In four weeks I am going to walk up to the edge of the cliff. I saw the Lord guiding me with His hands on my shoulders. In my picture I hear Him saying, "Wait here until I say you can jump...and when I say jump I want you to jump and believe in Me." I stand still at the edge of the cliff. The Lord says, "Its time, jump alicia!" As soon as my feet leave the ground, the Lord picks me up in His arms and I begin to fly. He is my wings, He is everything.

What a precious reminder of faith and Gods love. I know I'm not supposed to see everything. I know that without God I am nothing. I know I can't fly on my own and I know I don't have any strength. It's in this realization that I know I need God in every single way. I am supposed to be needy for Him. I'm not supposed to see or know how the money will be provided, or how things will be once I arrive in Australia. I'm not supposed to see. I'm supposed to believe. Believe that the God who created the world and holds the universe in the palm of His hand HOLDS ME. Faith truly is believing in what you can't see, and I am learning that more than I ever have in my entire life.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Update!

2010-07-20T07:41:00.003+10:00

It has been too long since I've written. It is time to blog again! I have missed writing so much. This summer I've been working at Starbucks. That takes up so much of my time. I love serving coffee, it's such a simple thing that can make someones day. I love sharing smiles with every single person. It's been one of my favorite jobs. However, my life is about to drastically change.

I'm moving to Brisbane, Australia August 25th. As most of you know, prior to starting college I attended YWAM in Norway for nine months at a base that was solely focused on the arts. For the past two years, I've been pursuing an Art degree at TN Tech. This summer I felt a strong calling on my life to go back on the mission field. Youth With A Mission is an international non-denominational Christan ministry that emphasizes discipleship training and evangelism. In seeking after God and listening intently to His voice, He's opened a staff opportunity at a very similar base in Brisbane, Australia. The students range from 17-27 years old. As one of twelve staff members, I will have various responsibilities including leading an outreach team for two months each year to another country. I've decided to accept the offer. The commitment is for two years.

I plan to blog on a regular basis. Don't worry there will be plenty of pictures and videos involved. I may be across the world but what a blessing to be able to write and share stories, and for you on the receiving end to receive and read. God is so unbelievably good! I can't wait to write about all of my adventures with the Lord! He has big things in store for everyone. This is truth! Thank you for taking the time to read my story. You are precious. I appreciate all your prayers.

p.s. The packing process has begun!

A story about two birds

2010-05-05T14:09:00.018+10:00

There once was a little bird who lived in a tree house near a big field with beautiful trees everywhere, bodies of water, and many mountains. This bird loved finding shapes in branches and sewing them into pictures. She loved to look at the water and be still. The birds favorite place was this certain tree branch facing the water. She would stare at the water for long periods of time. She would also like to drop different things in the water and watch the ripples dance. She wanted to find peace in the trees shapes and she wanted to fly as peaceful as the ripples in the water. The other birds called her Meela, which means 'deep thinker', because of her love for trees, water, and peace.

There was also another little bird who lived far beyond the mountains, several bodies of water away. This little bird loved to sing. He also loved the water. This little one lived in a tree house too, but near a busy space with many birds. The water was his resting place and gave him inspiration for his songs. He would spend much time on his special tree branch studying the water. He saw the ripples like notes, all working together to create a beautiful song. After looking at the water, he would fly and sing ever so delicately like the water would dance, one ripple after another. His friends called him Raloo, which means 'singer', because of his love for singing, water, and peace.

Meela and Raloo seem different and a bit strange to the rest of the birds in the nearby sky, but they are something really special. Every bird has something different, there's is just more noticeable.

One Spring day while the sun was resting close to the horizon, Raloo was flying high above the clouds singing louder than ever. He saw one white fluffy cloud that stood out amongst the others, he went and rested on it for a while. It was just him and the cloud and his music. He was at peace.

Once the sun was no longer visible, and the moon was shining bright against the surrounding dark sky, that was Raloo's clue to head back down to his branch for the night.

Meela was an early riser and enjoyed flying in the clear sky, just her and the wind. She would soar above every tree, dance in the sky with her swirls, ups, and downs. The wind was her guide, her wings would do the rest. She loved to fly with her eyes closed and trust that the blue went on forever. She opened her eyes at one point and noticed a fluffy cloud with music notes on it. She had never seen anything like this before. Because of the wind, the cloud was moving closer to her, as it came closer she could hear a song. This song was beautiful. She rested on the cloud as it lay right above her body of water. She was at peace.

Meela was so happy yet puzzled all day because of the cloud with notes that came her way. She didn't tell a soul, it was her secret. Later in the day she had gathered many branches from various trees. She would normally rest on the ground and form the branches into beautiful pictures, weaving grass to hold each branch together. But tonight she chose the cloud. She couldn't leave the music notes, it was her new favorite place. After a long time of sewing branches, creating beautiful images that were so delicate looking and peaceful like the water, she left them on the cloud and flew down to her branch for sleep. She hoped the cloud with notes would come her way again soon.

The wind guided the cloud back to Raloo the next day. He was so speechless when he found the cloud in the crisp blue sky. He recognized it from the day before, it was the fluffiest cloud, except he had never seen the notes or branches before. It was very dark the night he was singing, and wasn't aware that the notes had landed around him and were resting there. So for today, it was just him and the cloud, with the notes and beautiful branches. He studied the delicate weave of each picture, he had never seen branches in pictures. He was in awe. He sang his heart out while enjoying the cloud. At the end of the day he decided to bring the branches to his tree house because he loved them so much. He didn't know where this cloud went the night before, or where the branches came from, but he sang a song before bed, let the notes rest on the cloud, then left the cloud with the wind and trusted it to be its guide.

The wind took the cloud with notes back to Meela the next day. She was so happy. She noticed her branches were gone, and that there were new notes playing. So this time she decided to take the notes to her tree house so she could hear them all the time. She made new pictures from branches and set them on the cloud before she went to sleep.

Days pass, and each day the cloud is sent to Meela then to Raloo, then from Raloo to Meela, again and again. Meela keeps every note that is sent on the cloud, and Raloo keeps every picture sewn with branches.

One early morning while Meela was flying like an angel in the sky, she thought to herself, "Who sings all of these notes? Where can they be found?"

One night when Raloo was resting in his tree house, just him and the branches, he thought, "Who is sewing these beautiful pictures with branches? It must be a very beautiful bird. Where can this bird be found?"

Time continues to pass. The notes in Meela's tree house grow and every day she feels so much peace through the music. The pictures with branches in Raloo's tree house cover the inside of his home, and every time he looks at them he feels peace and joy. Peace like the water, peace like the ripples.

They continue to enjoy the clouds gifts, but deep down they wonder where they are coming from. Who sends them? Meela knows there's someone on the other end somewhere, someone who sings these notes she receives, and she knows this little bird has a very peaceful soul because she feels it in the music. Raloo believes that some little bird takes time each day to sew a picture for the cloud, and he knows this bird is special and full of love because of the delicate weave. Neither of them know where their gift ends up, but they hope to find out one day.

To be continued...

Creative cupcakes

2010-05-01T00:43:00.024+10:00

I wanted to post something on the lighter side. I know I tend to write about deep things with lots of reading. I think everything needs balance.

I stumbled upon this website: http://mingmakescupcakes.yolasite.com/, and it made my tummy grumble. I can't wait to try some of the recipes! There are so many to choose from. Just to let your tummies know, after you see these photos you will be hungry I'm sure, very very hungry. (Just look at the photos for now, and make sure to read the p.s. at the end)

Phew! That was a lot, huh? I never thought that you could make so many different kinds of cupcakes! Its unreal and amazing! Are you hungry? I sure was after I looked at all those images. It's amazing how food can be an art all in itself. Just like a painter creates with different colors and brushes, a cook creates with different ingredients and utensils.

Okay that's all for now. I'm sure you're hungry so go grab a snack, or go make cupcakes! As always, remember to smile - you are beautiful.

p.s. Unless you carry a magnifying glass in your back pocket, you must go to the website to read the recipes. So go here: http://mingmakescupcakes.yolasite.com/ - and cook! Enjoy creating yummy cupcakes!

Thursday thoughts

2010-04-30T15:13:00.012+10:00

I normally like to spread my posts out a couple days or so, but I had to share what's been on my heart tonight.

This time of year always seems to be a busy season. The end of the semester, or the end of your school year, moving back home, moving in somewhere else, starting or ending jobs, weddings to attend, whatever your form of busy may be - April and May tend to be busy and full of change. Let me share with you my form of busy and change. Earlier today, my roommate and I were cleaning out our dorm. If you don't know me, I attend TN Tech and I lived in the dorms this semester. Tomorrow is return your loft day. So we were moving our desks to the middle of the room, cleaning out drawers that had stacks of papers in them with little bits of everything, gathering trash and preparing for move out day, which is next week. After about twenty minutes of intense cleaning and focus, I stop and say, "This is probably the last time I will be living in the dorms. I'm gonna take a picture." So I find my camera and take a few snapshots of the extreme clutter. So many thoughts were racing through my mind, but in that moment I couldn't stop to really think deeply about any of them. I quickly came back to the mess and finished my half of the room. After things were somewhat settled, it was just me and the room. I found myself sitting at my desk, looking at the stacks of paper, piles of random nothings, my pencil container filled with what seemed like a lifetime supply of colored pencils, bobby bins and clips, and paintbrushes. I turned on some music and just sat there thinking. I first thought about how badly my body was hurting from my workouts the past few days. In that moment I felt like I had just finished a big run, my run was the entire semester. It was finally over. It seems like just yesterday it was beginning and I was moving in. I took a few deep breaths.

People say, "Life is short and time flies by." It really is true - time does fly by, really really fast. People also say, "Live life to the fullest, live it up!" What is living life to the fullest really? What does that even mean? I pondered this idea earlier tonight. I thought, "Am I living my life to the fullest? What does it mean to live my life to the fullest?". . .

I don't know who you are or what your life looks like. I don't know your story, what you've been through or what you're facing today. But I know who I am, and I know what my life looks like. I know my story. For me, living my life to the fullest means living in the Lord. Seeking Him with my whole heart, and following His will for my life. Above all, it's love. Genuine love. Genuinely loving people. Loving everyone you come in contact with. Short story: I was at a restaurant recently with a friend. We had the sweetest server. He was so kind, and so genuine. He didn't charge us for some of our meal, he was precious. When he gave us our checks I turned to my friend and asked her for a pen. I found a clean napkin and wrote a little note for the server, thanking him again and telling him he was wonderful. We paid and then we left. I walked outside with the biggest smile on my face. I don't know about you, but doing things like that for people, little gestures of love, they make me so happy. Not happy because of me, but because of them, and loving them. It's loving them that makes me happy. I was so full of joy. I don't say that to point out what I did, I tell you that story to point out and remind you that loving people doesn't have to be talking to them for hours, buying them flowers, or giving them a gift. Loving people can be writing a note on a napkin saying "thank you." It can be a smile sent to a person across a room. A friendly wave. A hug. Listening to someone. It can be millions of little things. It's like sand. When you think of the beautiful ocean, you don't think of just one grain of sand, or a huge chuck of sand shaped like a stone. No, you picture millions and millions of grains of sand. Millions.

Walking on sand is refreshing because your tiny toes sink into the cool cushion of endless grains, leaving your footprint behind you. Little gestures of love are refreshing. Without each grain the ocean wouldn't be complete. Without God there wouldn't love. Because God is love. It all goes back to the Creator, the Lord! Which leads me back to the questions I asked myself earlier, "Am I living my life to the fullest? What does it mean to live my life to the fullest?" For me, it's seeking the Creator. The One who created the ocean and every grain of sand. It's loving like He loves me. Wanting to love people genuinely. Knowing that there are endless ways to love someone, so many small things that can make all the difference in someone's moment or day. And it's remembering these little moments. Remembering the grains of love.

I know that was a lot to read. . .

I don't know what you're season looks like right now. Maybe you're in a busy season full of lots of change, or maybe nothing is changing for you. Maybe you're extremely overwhelmed or stressed beyond belief, or maybe you are in complete peace. Maybe you feel in a dull place, like you're not really living your life to the fullest. I don't know what you consider living life to the fullest, everyone is different. Whatever you're facing, know that it's going to be okay. Maybe you could show little gestures of love to people you see today - and try to notice ones in other people. Maybe it's just a smile. Whatever gesture you choose to pour out today, or receive today, I think you'll be surprised by the love you feel in return. I think you yourself will feel joy - and just like walking in the sand is refreshing, I pray the little gestures of love are refreshing for your day. Don't forget them. Remember the grains of love.

It's now time for me to go to bed. Big day tomorrow. Goodnight for now.

Let yourself feel

2010-04-29T08:53:00.012+10:00

Before you begin reading, go to the link below and listen. Listen and read.
http://vimeo.com/6045312
Everyone I'm sure is familiar with the concept of zoning out whether they realize it or not. It's happening to me right now actually. You may find yourself in a crowd full of people - maybe a coffee shop that's somewhat loud, people walking in and out, carrying their own conversations - maybe you're in a classroom and the teacher is lecturing. You see that their talking, but nothing is really going through your ears - maybe your sitting outside on a bench in a park, all you may hear are the trees swaying around you, the birds singing their songs, the occasional runner huffing and puffing, or the little kid overflowing with excited as they play on the playground - or you may be all alone in complete silence. You find yourself in a certain moment and it's as if nothing is around you. You feel like you are on pause and everything around you is on play. Your eyes may be frozen in a certain spot and your mind may be racing in circles or you may not be thinking at all. Maybe you have no words. It's okay to be in this place. It's okay to feel frozen, it's okay to have no words, it's okay.

Maybe you had a zoning out moment earlier today, or you're in one right now. Maybe you're reading this and your eyes are just floating along each word. That's okay too. All you can do is the next right thing. Let yourself feel and take good care of yourself. So often people live their lives so busy worrying about so many things, that they can quickly forget or lose time to take care of themselves. I think everyone should have 'me time.' What do you enjoy doing for your 'me time'? I enjoy many things, here are a few: drinking tea, yoga, taking pictures of beautiful things, hot bubble baths, face masks, making hoot hoots and painting with music. You can never be too busy for 'me time' - 'me time' should be an essential part of your day. Maybe it's shower time, let that be your time. Maybe it's driving, let that be your time. Find time for you, and enjoy it.

Always remember to let yourself feel. And it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and just breathe. If you're outside, let the wind blow across your face and enjoy it. If you're inside, enjoy your comfy chair, or the warm conversation you're having. If you're alone, be thankful that you are alive. Be thankful that you have eyes to read and see beauty.

Enjoy your current moment, whatever it may be, and remember to smile because you are beautiful.

Pictures

2010-04-22T09:54:00.000+10:00

I don't understand why my photos aren't showing up! I'm so sorry friends. I have been working on it, but they keep going away. It's so sad. I hope I can fix it soon!

April tulips

2010-04-17T05:26:00.030+10:00

I strive to capture the details. The whole flower is beautiful of course, but what stands out to me are the details. Each line resting right next to each other, every curve that creates the petal, the dust, the way the sun hits and creates a shadow, how the colors blend creating hundreds of values, the high contrast...on and on. Enjoy the details!

Search for details in simple things today - you will amazed at the beauty you find!

Wednesday

2010-04-15T04:04:00.005+10:00

I'm currently at Barnes and Noble in the Starbucks area. My corner is so peaceful.

Have you ever sat in a public place with headphones in? I'm sure you have. You're completely zoned out because of your music - your music changes everything about that moment. Let's say you're sitting by a window. You look out and find cars passing by all headed in different directions, people walking, and trees swaying. The people close by are all in their own little worlds. Some are writing, some are reading, some are in a deep phone conversation, some may look very sad, or others seem to be in a hurry.

I find so much beauty in just being still. Resting in the midst of chaos. Not that this coffee area in this bookstore is chaos, but its not like life is on pause either. I'm just choosing to be still. I have many things to do today, in fact, in ten minutes I have to go to my car and head to my next destination. It's the little pockets of time that are special. It's the little things that make a day wonderful. If you've read my previous posts, you're probably wondering why I talk about the little things so much - the little things are so important to me. I feel like the little things in life go unnoticed most of the time. People, myself included, become unaware of things that are routine, or extremely simple - for example, a cool drink, or the breeze - I love to notice beauty in little things and write them out so readers like you can be reminded of them!

Ok, its been ten minutes. I must close my computer now and walk to my car.

Crushed Ice

2010-04-11T15:33:00.002+10:00

I love little joys that end up making my whole day. Like the cherry limeade I drank earlier today. I was sitting in the Panera parking lot, my car was facing the grass. There was a row of crisp green bushes in front of me. My two front windows were rolled down, the breeze was just perfect. It wasn't gusting like a tornado but not completely gone either. It was soft and wispy, and every once in a while my hair would sway and cool me off. I like to drink my sonic drinks with the lid off and no straw. The crushed ice added with the fresh flavor is something so amazing! Definitely a little joy. But I savored it. That whole moment was lovely.

Tulips

2010-04-08T14:10:00.003+10:00

Today I discovered patches of tulips! Tomorrow morning I plan to wake up bright and early to go take beautiful pictures of them and other lovely things. What a wonderful way to start my day. I can't wait to share the beauty! Be on the lookout for my next post!

Sweet dreams everyone.

Little joys

2010-04-07T16:06:00.007+10:00

Here is something that makes my day - It's a very small thing yet so lovely at the same time. I like to find little joys and savor them. Let me share it with you! Every morning I splash cold water on my face several times.

It's the most refreshing feeling in the world! It's definitely a shock to my face on the first splash but it feels so good. Also, right before I go to bed, after washing my face with soap, I splash cold water on it again. It surprisingly makes my face feel tighter and cleaner. The cold water is so crisp and fresh. I used to rinse my face with room temperature water because the straight cold water was too much of a shock - but its so worth it! Try straight cold water for a rinse and let your face feel refreshed.

Tomorrow

2010-04-07T14:04:00.002+10:00

So you've had a rough day. Maybe your day has been so busy you haven't had time to breathe. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with decisions. Maybe you're really mad at yourself for a choice you made! Maybe you're mad at yourself for something you did or didn't do. You're just super frustrated and mad at yourself. Like this child, looking very miserable.

There is not one bit of happy written on his face. He seems sad, mad, confused, and just worn out.

Let me tell you this friends, you don't have to dwell in misery. Tomorrow will come soon and tomorrow is a brand new day! New beginnings, new choices. A fresh start. The past is gone completely. So instead of feeling sad, or continuing to beat yourself up about a choice you made, or soaking in frustration - try to smile because tomorrow is a new day.

This facial expression has happy written all over it! Look at the joy, look at the peace. Have peace that tomorrow is new and be thankful that tomorrow is a FRESH START.

Now take four minutes and five seconds and listen to this song! Copy and paste this link to your browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8HRCacAQ-4. Move your head to the beat, turn it up loud, and smile.

Car ride

2010-04-06T00:25:00.004+10:00

Headed back to Nashville. I-65 N is pretty clear.

I am in the passenger seat and James (my brother) is driving. Something interesting happened about 20 minutues ago. We were cruising down the left lane and all of a sudden this baby blue colored PT Cruiser was on our tail. We slide over in the right lane and gladly let them pass us. As they were passing us, we see a woman in the passenger seat, she looked pregnant and in pain. The man driving seemed very focused. Their hazards were on and they were on a mission. Who knows what they were going through. Maybe she was pregnant...or maybe she had a broken leg. We have no idea what people are going through. People may be headed in the same direction on the same road but their destinations are all different. You never know what people are going through. When in doubt, just love.

You choose

2010-04-02T15:28:00.001+10:00

Hello dear friends. Forgive me for not writing recently. My life has felt like that of a kite, swirling in the wind not knowing what's going on. But here I sit, ready to type.

I don't know what kind of day you've had...maybe its the end of the day for you. Wherever you find yourself, pause for a moment and look at the photograph below.

That is me skating. It was taken in Holland. I remember this day so clearly. I remember stepping onto the ice with four other friends. Quickly after I became comfortable with my skates I broke out from the group and began skating on my own. The ice seemed to go on forever and ever. I would search for clear spots to twirl in. The wind was cold against my face, but more refreshing than anything I had felt in a long time. I felt so free. Me and the wind. No fear or worry, only peace. My eyes would water as I would skate faster and faster, pumping my feet and moving my arms back and forth - after a few seconds of gaining momentum I would stretch out my arms side to side and stand straight up. It was a moment full of so much peace.

When I think more about this picture and that day on the ice, the word 'choice' comes to mind. In that moment while I was skating, I chose to break from the group. I chose to search for blank spaces to swirl. I chose to feel the wind and let it embrace me. I chose to speed up fast then stand up tall. I chose to place myself in that particular circumstance. Because of that choice I felt freedom. Fear was gone, and worry was nowhere to be seen.

Everyday you have a series of choices. You are the only one that can control YOU. I encourage you to take a moment and write down different things that bring you peace. You choose each step you take, no one can choose them for you. You choose.

Find peace today, dear friend. Feel the wind.

Tuesday

2010-03-03T04:42:00.002+10:00

Awake

2010-02-11T18:50:00.003+10:00

It's currently 2:50am. I am wide awake. I feel like the rest of the world is sleeping. I don't know what your current moment is. Maybe you're awake too. Maybe you're reading this and its morning and you're about to start a new day. Maybe its the end of the day for you and you can't wait to meet your dreams. Or maybe its the middle of the day and you're not really sure how you're day is going, you just are here.

My current moment is me sitting in a pitch black room with nothing but my computer screen on. I feel like this moment happens a lot for me.

What do you do when you can't sleep?

Whenever I can't sleep I always love to write. I think some of my brightest visions and most amazing ideas blossom really really late. When the rest of the world seems to be sleeping that is when I am wide awake. Maybe you're not like me, maybe you like to just lay there underneath your covers. Wrapped up warm like a little burrito. You stare into the dark void and your mind becomes blank. Maybe you're laying there but you feel like your mind is running a marathon. You wish so badly there was an off button for your brain. Maybe you make some hot tea and read a book. Or maybe you write. Whatever your routine is, I encourage you to fit writing in also. You may not be a journal person, or you may not like to write at all. But just try it. Next time you find yourself awake at this hour, take out some paper and a pencil, or pull up a word document. Just write. Write about anything and everything. Its only you. Imagine yourself alone in a field. Choose a dance, and dance. Choose words, and write.

Some of the most beautiful flowers bloom by the light of the moon. One of my favorite flowers is the evening primrose. The flower opens in the evening and closes during the day.

You yourself are a beautiful flower. So, precious flower friend, I encourage you to write when you can't sleep. Just try. You are something so beautiful. Maybe you haven't heard it in a while. But let me tell you this, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. Guy or girl. You are a treasure. A precious gem just waiting to be discovered. Never ever forget how special you are.

One more thing, let me share this with you. A thought that brings me peace is me standing in a field full of wildflowers. Surrounded by only the wind, butterflies dancing around me. Endless miles of flowers. Crisp grass tickling my toes. A blanket of blue resting above. I carry this thought wherever I go. Its not me longing to be somewhere else. Its me finding peace in every moment. You may be thinking, "Alicia its just a thought, how can that be peaceful all the time?" Let me tell you, the flowers of the field are all throughout my day. A smile, a good conversation, a pretty cloud, a hug, a glass of water, over hearing laughter, being still, seeing a wave from afar, a yummy apple, fresh juice, a nap, genuine eye contact, the wind, just breathing! The flowers are in everyday. All together you have a field. Its recognizing beauty in everyday, every moment. It's there. I promise you. It's all about perspective. Of course there are some days when maybe there's just one flower. Or maybe its been such a hard day that there are no flowers at all. Its going to be okay. This is the part you find yourself resting in the shade under a tree. You look above and all you see are branches, a delicate wooden spider web. You see confusion, or anger, or sadness, or you free alone, maybe you don't understand anything. Rest in this, dear one, in the days full of shade, know that you have not left the field. The field is still surrounding you! All you may see is shade and darkness, but the flower are still there. The flowers will come again. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next five minutes, but they will come. And you will appreciate the beauty so much more. So I don't know what your current moment holds. I don't know what kind of morning, day, or night it has been for you. Whether you're just waking up, on a lunch break, reading this on your phone, you just woke up from a nap, just finished a meal, or getting ready for bed. Maybe you're in a really bad mood, so you're frustration is distracting you from fully processing these words. Just reading this makes you more frustrated. Maybe you're completely at peace and so happy. Maybe you feel frozen and numb to your feelings. Maybe you're reading this and the whole time you've been thinking in the back of your mind what you need to do next. Or maybe you just can't sleep. Wherever you find yourself, whatever your current moment holds, I hope you can enter the field of wildflowers. Find the flowers all throughout your day. Know they are still there when you find yourself in the shade.

Whether in your dreams, or in your moments. Just beauty. Recognize beauty. Feel the peace around you. Its there, I promise.

Ps. You have no idea how special you are sweet friend.

A lovely car ride

2010-02-04T15:35:00.001+10:00

Alone in my car with the windows down. I found my self waiting at a stop light for longer then usual. It was around lunch time so everyone seemed to be searching for lunch. I casually look to my right and with much surprise I saw the most adorable elderly couple talking with smiles. They were very much into their conversation. I observed their love as I sat very still in my car. The cool breeze was blowing through my window and beautiful music was playing. For what seemed like five minutes, the rest of the world around me seemed frozen. My mind somehow blocked out all the chaotic noise that was happening in every direction. In that moment, everything was mute except my soft music and the wind as it danced around me. That precious moment was suddenly gone as cars began moving around me and the light was in fact green. I drove up to the next light while my heart felt so frozen. I was just resting. I turned to my right again and there found the same couple. My face lit up and this time the elderly man was leaning over to kiss his adorable wife on the cheek. My heart was full of so much joy. A beautiful couple that has spent most of a lifetime together. They looked about eighty years old. I could sense their love and was blown away. What a beautiful thing.

When the light turned green, it felt like the play button was pressed. I suddenly was aware of the noise that surrounded me. Angry drivers running red lights and lines of cars bumper to bumper. I pull in at my destination, parked my car, and slowly turned it off. With only my keys in my lap I sat their for about ten minutes. Just me and the wind. Pondering that beautiful moment and processing the idea of love and giving love to others.

What are some things that you love to receive?

A smile

A kiss

A gift

A gentle word

A surprise lunch

A special glance

A phone call

When someone plays with your hair

Love is spoken in hundreds of languages. Every person gives and receives love in different ways. I encourage you to really think about your different love languages. Once you've thought about those things, then think about the people who are really really special to you. Speak love to them today. Speak love to them everyday. Whatever your love language is, pour it onto those special people in your life. Love can be so simple and such a small thing, yet it can change someones day more than you could possibly imagine.

Go now, and love.

Books

2010-01-27T15:34:00.000+10:00

A beautiful thing happened today. I was sitting in the library listening to my ipod. I found myself staring off into the distance really not thinking at all. My eyes landed on row of library books. They rested there for sometime. I began to think deeply about the fact that each book carries a different story. Not one is the exact same. I then thought that is how each person is. Each person is there own book. No other books are like them. Their story is unique and so special because there is only one. There is only one you in the entire universe. That in itself makes you breathtakingly beautiful. Rest in the fact that you are something so special.

Day one

2010-01-26T11:16:00.000+10:00

I hope you enjoy my words from inside. As you read I encourage you to create a comfortable environment for yourself. Create a peaceful moment. Sit still, clear your mind completely just for one moment, put headphones in, listen to beautiful songs and read. I am a very visual person. Therefore, when I write I tend to describe in detail the pictures I see. Let the pictures unfold in your mind. I hope you are able to paint the pictures for yourself as you read my words. Even if you aren’t a visual person I hope my words are able to help you paint it. Stretch your mind and think deeply. I think it’s so important to share the beauty we see with one another. Everyone sees things from slightly a different angle. I hope you are able to understand and soak in the beauty I write about.