Friday, October 22, 2010

Mrs. Audrey

It was about 5:30 pm and I decided to go for a walk with Abba. At this time of day the breeze is cool and the sun is down. It's the perfect time of day to walk. I headed down our street and took the first left. I like to go sit at this one bench at the end of the street to just pray and look at the moon and gorgeous clouds. I had my ipod in and Hillsong 'You' was playing. I was enjoying Daddy's Presence and His perfect love found in the wind that surrounded me. I found myself smiling up at the rich blanket of blue, so thankful for His perfect peace. I was almost at the bench and to my right across the street I see this elderly woman with a walker. She had a blue dress on and was walking extremely slow. Each step was a lot of work. She was walking on the grass away from the sidewalk and she was looking at the flowers in the yard she was near. I immediately thought, "Ooh, I want to go talk to her." I have such a passion for elderly people. They are so dear to my heart. So I sit down and kept thinking how I wanted to go say hi. In that moment as I was watching her walk directly across the street from my bench, the Lord said to my heart, "Go talk to her." I go, "But what do I say?" and He goes, "I'll give you the words." So I sit there for about ten more seconds. I stand up and cross the street in faith. There were no cars so I peacefully cross with a smile. At this time I had taken my ipod out of my ears and wrapped the cords in a bundle. As I'm nearing the sidewalk she sees me and raises her precious face and says, "Well hello darling." She stands still and I go, "Hiii! I live just around the corner up the road, and I wanted to say hello. I'm Alicia." She goes, "Aww, well I'm Audrey." I said, "I was just walking and saw you and wanted to come say hi." She goes, "Well I'm glad you did!" With the biggest smile on her face she continues to talk. "Yes I love walking at this time of day, the sun is down so its nice and cool for me. I try to walk everyday or else...well I can't, you know I have to keep moving...because I'm old..and I've had trouble recently crossing over drains so I have to walk on the grass part. And you know you'll see a lot of us kind out at this time of know, old people like me. In fact, there's a nursing home just there (and she points across the street directly behind the bench I sit at - which I think is a total God thing because I love elderly people so much, and the fact that I live just a street Daddy is so incredible) she continues...that's a nursing home, the red building there. So you could go over there anytime and meet people or you'll see them out walking just here - we all need love. I hope I never get in there (She smiles real big)" I listen and smile, my eyes are wide, I feel so happy I could cry at this point, my face is lit up and my heart feels like its overflowing with sooo much joy...and I say "Aww yea, wow thats amazing. I'd love to come see you and go for walks together. Could we walk together?..and yes I enjoy this time of the day as well. Walking is such a lovely thing for me. Its my time alone." She then says, "Why yes of course we can dear...So did you just get off work or something, what do you do here?" I said, "Oh no, have you heard of YWAM just up the road a bit?" She goes, "Why yes, I certainly have. I am familiar with those lovely people. You know, I am a christian myself, yes I love Jesus...and I think its amazing work you do up there." I go, "Wow, yay...well yes, I am a leader over there. I've been here for just two months and this is going to be my home for a while...however long God wants me I love meeting people in the neighborhood...making this feel more like home. I know this is exactly where God wants me to be...and in that I find peace." She goes, "That's good dear, thats good. Where are you from dear?" I go, "I'm from Tennessee." She goes, "Oooh American, how lovely." Chuckles a bit. She goes, "So have you made good friends where you are?" I go, "Yes I have. There are over 50 people that live at the base so it can be hard to find alone time. That's why I walk, because its just me and God. His presence is amazing. So yes, relationships are still forming slowly, and yea I just love walking with my ipod up and down this bit." We continued to talk for a while and I found out that the house she was walking in front of was hers. I will take pictures...She lives there with her two granddaughters. They work from 6 am-6 pm so she's alone all day. She has been living there in that little darling blue house with flowers surrounding it for 30 years. She says walking helps her day, it gets her out of the house. She went on and on about how great the Holy Spirit is for her and how she is in her house all the time by herself, so she's alone but not lonely, do you know what I mean? I agreed with her and we just talked about how amazing God is. She walks at 4 or 5 pm every day. I told her I wanted to see her again and how it made my day to meet her. I said, "I'm so glad I came to say hi." She goes, "Me too, dear. Me too. And you are welcome in my home at anytime if you want to just rest or sit in my garden here. I sit in that room just there, (she pointed to the house), just go knock on that window and I will know its you. And you can come in." I wanted to cry! God is sooooo good!!!!! What an incredible moment. Talk about a divine appointment. I wish you could meet her she was so precious. So yes! I'm going to see her next week! And hopefully every week. We are going to go walking together. She said she would love company. I can't wait to see her again - God is so good and He always provides. What a blessing - Thank you Abba for Mrs. Audrey. All glory to you Daddy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Where to begin...

I'm listening to Angus & Julia Stone
I love this song so much. You should listen to it!

My current moment is extremely lovely. I'm sitting at my night stand/desk in a green chair. My four windows are wide open - a cool breeze is dancing in across my face and filling up my room. My floor is clean and my clothes are folded nicely. My little lamp is on and the big light is off. My Jesus Calling is to the right of my computer next to my cup of tea. The pages are moving up and down ever so delicately due to the wind and my ceiling fan. If I close my eyes its as if its only me, the wind, Daddy, and my music. The strings to the blinds are swaying. The water in my water bottle is completely still. My tea cup however is extremely hot - tonight I'm sipping green tea with peach. It's been my favorite this week. If I look up into the deep black sky out my window I can't see any stars - but I know they are shining bright beyond my lamp. I feel like this is the first time I've sat down all day. As I sit and process the days events, my heart is so thankful. Daddy is so incredibly good. I'm thankful for this moment. I'm thankful for the wind. I'm thankful for a roof over my head. I'm thankful for tea and music. I'm thankful for a computer. I'm thankful for functioning hands to type these words. I'm thankful for God's never-ending love. I'm thankful I serve a God who is constant and unchanging.

How am I doing? I'm really good. Daddy reminds me daily that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. This afternoon the staff team had a crazy amazing powerful intense worship/prayer time. So much freedom in His presence! I'm learning to rest in Daddy's Presence more and more and more and more! I may be weak but I know my Daddy is strong enough to hold me tight - and that makes everything okay. It just takes me focusing on Him completely and receiving His perfect love. The same God that holds the heavens holds me, and you. Why should I doubt for one second that He can't hold me together? I'm learning that everything points back to God. It's all about Him. It's all about Him. IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!

I hope you are finding peace, as always - I don't know who reads my blog but if you do thank you from the bottom of my heart - it truly means the world. Writing brings me so much peace - I know my posts are all over the place and sometimes long but I try to write from my heart and share what God is doing - It really is all about Him. I hope you are encouraged precious ones!

I send a big hug across the stars and over the moon! Speaking of the moon, if you see it say hello - We may see different stars since I'm on the other side of the world (depending on where you are) - but we all see the same moon.

Music I've been listening to this week...sorry it's not a link or video on here, I tried to make it that way but it wouldn't work for some reason. You can just copy and paste it :)
Rick Pino 'Your Love Is Like'
Angus & Julia Stone 'For You'
Missy Higgins 'Where I Stood'
Mumford & Sons 'The Cave'

Insly to my incredible family.

Glory to God.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Living a life of influence

If you know anything about me you know that honesty is important to me. And if you don't know that, well now you do. I won't sit here and tell you everything is jolly when I'm actually being stretched more than I've ever been. I try to be real. I'm just me, that's all I can be. I embrace where I am and what comes to me, and I try to run to God with everything I have. At the end of the day, it's not about how great I can be or what I'm doing. It's about what God's doing in my life, its all about Him.

My darling Snickerdoodle. Has so much love to give :)

The beautiful sky from my window

To be honest, the past few days have been really hard. If you see the first picture of my night stand - if I'm learning anything I am learning things about myself. I love organization. Keeping things tidy and clean is important to me. (Just a little thing about me) So as you can see, I try to keep my night stand somewhat organized. If you notice the purple container on the blue felt square, the one with tick-tacks? Do you see it? It's two simple objects that describe how I'm feeling right now and how I see God. In all honestly, I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like I'm in a million pieces - like the tick-tacks scattered everywhere. Completely still. They can't pick themselves up. They just rest in the container. The container represents God. He is holding me together. When God gave me that picture, those objects, He also gave me a verse. 'Micah 7:7,8 As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemies! I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.' I love that verse. You may be thinking, woah she feels like she's falling apart. Man, that's hard. She must be having a great time because she's in Australia? Or because she's in YWAM. Yes, I'm apart of YWAM living in Australia. But YWAM is just a system. The system isn't the ultimate deal. I'm living life where God wants me to live right now in this season but ultimately its about how I live my life, not about where I am. Let me tell you dear friends, it has nothing to do with where you are in the world or what you're apart of - where you are and what you're apart of won't make you happy. God is the foundation for joy, peace, love, strength... on and on. It's found in Him - at the end of the day its about your heart. Its about what God's trying to say to you. What is He speaking to you? What is His heart for you? Are you running to Him with all that you have? Are you being real about what you're going through and where you are? These are all questions I'm currently asking myself. Right now even. Maybe you feel like you're falling apart too, I don't have answers because I'm in that same place - the only answer I have is to run to God and seek His face. Ask Him hard questions, don't be afraid to really tell Him how you feel. Maybe you're reading this and you feel a bit weird as you're reading. Maybe you didn't expect this or you aren't used to people throwing out how they are really doing. I find beauty in being real about you're feeling and how you're doing. Yes it may be hard and uncomfortable but I'd rather be real with people and tell you that man, I don't have it all together, but let me tell you who is Perfect, let me tell you about the most amazing person that holds me together and loves me completely, thats JESUS. God's love is perfect. At the end of the day its about my God - and how is my life influencing those around me? How is God shining through my life? Can people see His love? Are you living a life of influence? Whether you're in a University, working, you have a job or don't have a job, maybe you're still in high school, you live at home or away from home, you're in America or outside the States - wherever you are...are you living a life that influences the people around you? Are you being real with how you're feeling? Do you know that you can't carry everything on your own? You are supposed to be weak - so God can be strong. Man I feel like I just wrote a novel. Sorry this is so long, but then again I'm not sorry because I love being real! So I don't have to apologize for that! I realize its not the most fun thing to read a super long blog - but if you are reading this I pray God speaks to you. He is the only good thing in me. And in all honesty as I've shared, that's what I'm learning and that's how I'm doing.

One more thing that's on my mind...
God is sovereign, and has a much bigger picture than I can see. I may feel like I'm falling apart and I'm learning that that's okay. The enemy wants me to believe that I have to act like I'm all put together and have everything figured out. That I should just cover up the things I'm feeling and not be real. But no, God wants me to embrace where I am and know that He is holding me. And through this time, I am growing closer to Him. Which is the ultimate goal. What is God teaching you? Let me know how you're doing? I would love to know what God is doing in your life! If not on a comment, shoot me an email :)

The DTS students arrive in about 3 weeks. I can't believe it! This week is the last week of Basic Leadership School intake phase. Next week we start DTS school prep! Woohoo!

Oh and ps. - no matter what you're going through, be sure to care for yourself. Make sure you look after you. Whether you're falling apart or having the best day of your life. Do something that does make you smile. And remind yourself constantly that God has a much bigger picture than what you can see.